But I'm Not Supposed To Be a Dog!

- 10b -

It took a moment, but soon Abby wriggled her nose slightly. She frowned, and looked under the table to see if Henry was there. Not finding him, her frown deepened, and she glanced suspiciously at her date.

"What is it?" Daniel asked, eyeing her curious expression.

"Um, nothing." Abby quickly excused herself. "I almost forgot about the gouda to go with the bread!" Abby hurried to the kitchen, and Henry was pleased to see her take several gulps of fresh air. She then opened the refrigerator and attempted to find the cheese.

"Huh," she murmured. "I must have forgotten to pick it up."

"Don't worry about it," Daniel said. "We don't need it."

Abby smiled and returned to the table, relieved that the foul smell had cleared.

And now for step two. Henry circled around to the kitchen and peered into the trash can, which was hidden from view by the counter. Waiting until the conversation picked up again, he reared up and nosed around in the debris. The couple at the table laughed, and Henry chose that moment to pull out the plastic container that had held the store-bought chicken.

He carried the container like a prize and sat on the floor next to Daniel. Henry began to chew noisily on the container. The loud crackling sounds drew Daniel's attention and he looked down. "What have you got there?" Daniel said as he reached for the container, eyeing the dog warily. Henry sat up and panted happily, mustering the friendliest expression he could. Daniel picked up the plastic container and chuckled.

"What is it?" Abby asked, looking to see what he held in his hands.

Daniel chuckled again and showed her the label that was clearly marked PRECOOKED ROTISSERIE CHICKEN. Abby paled, and then flushed the brightest shade of red.

"I, um," Abby sputtered and then glared at Henry. "Obviously cooking isn't my strong suit."

Henry watched, still panting happily, as Abby stood up and began pacing around the room, continuing to prattle in obvious humiliation.

"See, most people have some kind of talent that they can show off to people. Maybe they can juggle, or fix cars, or paint the Sistine Chapel on a grain of rice. I don't know. So many people are good at so many things, and here I am, ordinary Abby, who seems to be good at being embarrassed by her own dog." She gave Henry another withering glance. "And here you are, with your fancy Porche, and me who's barely able to pass a smog check. How am I supposed to impress someone like that? I don't know, maybe with food? Maybe I should have learned to juggle instead..."

During Abby's pause, Daniel stood up and swiftly closed the gap between them, cradling her face with both of his hands. He looked deeply into her eyes. "You are so adorable." Then he kissed her soundly.

Henry closed his mouth, no longer pleased. This was not supposed to happen. He whined softly when the kiss deepened and they began shuffling toward the couch. He bounded ahead and stretched out on the couch, taking up as much space as possible. The couple nearly crushed him as they fell onto it. He barely scampered out of the way in time.

This had to stop. Now.

Henry looked wildly around the apartment, desperate to find something to interrupt this disaster. He looked back at the couple, who barely broke apart long enough to breathe. Abby's hands tangled in his hair while Daniel's hand boldly stroked down the side of her dress.

Just then, Henry felt a rumbling in his bowels. Yes, there was more where that came from. He snuck behind the couch and again relaxed enough to let another sizable pocket of gas escape.

After a moment, Abby paused, continued kissing, then paused again.

"What is it?" Daniel asked, breathing heavily. Then his expression froze. "Wow, that's awful."

"That's not..." Abby hesitated and sat up. "That's not you, is it?"

Daniel sat up too. "Me? Heck no! If I had something that foul inside, I would be clenching for my life."

"Me too." Abby laughed and looked around. "Where is Henry?"

Henry's tail drooped. Great, blame the dog like everyone else. While they were looking the other way, he hurried to his bed by her desk and then shook his head so that his ears flapped noisily.

Abby looked toward the sound. "Well there he is, clear across the room." She looked suspiciously at Daniel. "You sure that wasn't you?"

Daniel held up his hands. "I swear! I would leave the room before doing that on a date. A very hot date."

Abby looked into his smoldering brown eyes and softened. "I agree."

Henry had never seen a man's eyes smolder before. That much desire was dangerous. It was time for a different sort of distraction. He found the squeakiest toy he had and began to chomp on it exuberantly. It made a satisfyingly loud racket, so he began tossing it into the air and coming closer to them. For added cuteness, he rolled onto his back and continued to squeeze the toy repeatedly in his mouth. Try to compete with that, Danny-boy.

Daniel's expression was a mixture of annoyance and amusement. He still had a hand on Abby's thigh, but she was no longer paying attention to him.

Good. And now for the finishing blow. Henry walked up to the couple and dropped the toy right at Abby's feet.She, of course, couldn't resist Henry's charm and picked up the toy to play.

Whew! Would you vote for playing with the dog or sexy-time?