What's been on my mind lately.. No Judging here, please.

I Don't Know What To Do Anymore...

~ I'm A prisoner in my own mind,

It keeps telling me I'm shit.

A waste of space, fucking up my life.

I sit here feeling sorry for myself,

Known for a while that as each day goes by,

The last opportunities I have.

It's a daily reminder, that I'm running out of time.

These are the thoughts that burdened my mind,

Keep me up at night,

Make me realize no matter how hard I try,

I'm not fine.

I'm tired, tired of pretending

And live in this lie.

I'm not alright.

And I haven't been for a while.

I'm sick to death of feeling sad.

Walking round with a heavy heart,

Put all my energy to just feeling ok.

When I'm not.

I'm weak,

Emotional,

Fragile.

I put up a strong gateway, But all you need to do is ask me the right questions

It will all come pouring out.

All the dark thoughts, anxiety, self-doubt.

And Sometimes I need to be in a room by myself to keep my thoughts in my head down.

Cause you see on the outside,

Everything is still,

Everything is calm.

But up in here, in my mind

It is so fucking loud.

I feel everything at once.

It's killing me.

I'm loosing my mind.

Tell me!

How do I escape?

When my worst demons are the ones on the inside.

I'm buried alive.

It's a constant battle between life and my mind,

And it's time for me to admit ..

That I'm losing this fight.

I'm slowly watching as my personality dies.

It's taken over.

I'm going to anxiety's side.

I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!

But it won't stop, 

It never stops,

It controls you.

Eats you up.

Makes you believe that .. it's all your fault.