What The Heart Wants (bwwm)

Nine

Kaden

I was staring up at the library ceiling for so long that my eyes had begun to cross. I was extremely aware of the girl sitting by the window looking out. I turned my head to get a eye full of her as she sat with her hands under her thick amazing thighs and hummed sadly. Her voluptuous lips parted slightly as her tongue darted out to moisten them. She'd cut her hair and revealed a small heart tattoo on her neck under her ear. I was never one for short, thick hair, but somehow Angel just pulled off the sexy, messy, short haired bed head look. I was drooling.

"What are you staring at!?" She said menacingly with a deep scowl on her face. "You seriously didn't have to follow me."

I ignored her deadly gaze and shrugged. Clearly I had no chance with this girl. I mean I should have known. I played a big role in her torment. "I just like your new hair cut."

"You don't have or need to be here." She said as her scowl deepened. "I still hate you! You stood by and watched as your little girlfriend tortured me for years! Now all of a sudden you want us to be buddy buddy. Well, it just doesn't work that way Kaden."

"I didn't expect it to work that way, Angelina." I whispered.

My heart leaped forward in my chest, slammed into my sternum, and shattered into a million pieces. Words like that uttered from someone you've grown fond of are quite deadly. It's like having the mighty Excalibur itself plunged so deep into your chest that King Arthur himself can not even remove it.

"I'm sorry." was all I could get out before she was up and making her way towards the exit. So naturally on impulse I ran after her. I didn't know what I was going to say or do when I caught up to her, but I had to do something.

I caught up to her fast and grabbed her wrist. "I love you."

The school hallway was eerily quiet and completely empty. So I knew she heard every word. They bounced off the walls like a basketball on the gym floor. My heart felt like a frantic bird in a cage trying to escape and the silence around us screamed. Who knew silence could be so loud.

I mentally slapped myself. How THE F*CK did that just slip out? How could this whole thing just go so far left out of my grasp? I guess I just seem to lose my shit wherever Angel is involved.

She stared back into my eyes as a smirk slid onto her face. "Well tough titties."

With that...she walked away.

•••

I left the library after her rejection. I just couldn't stand to be there anymore and although it hurt, I could only imagine the pain I put her through must have hurt so much more. I allowed someone to torment her for years and even though I felt this way about her, I just stood back and watched as this sweet girl was battered and broken. How could I expect her to love me back? How could I expect her to see me the way that I saw her everyday. I was pathetic. I could never be as brave as her.

I sauntered towards the lunch room and spotted a group of my football buddies (another cliche. I'm just full of 'em lol). I flopped into a chair at the table and pretended to be interested in their conversations, but my mind was practically glued to a certain raven haired beauty. To her I'd always be just another racist white guy in a town full of racists. Just another white face.

"Hey you okay?" One of the guys asked as they took something from my hands. I looked down and saw a hole I'd dug into the table with a pen I don't remember picking up.

"Yea, I'm fine." I grinned with complete fakeness and stood to leave the cafeteria. I just couldn't be in school anymore. I just needed a break.

Super short🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️