BATMAN ONESHOTS

Harley Quinn (2)

((A/N)): Real talk, I haven't even seen this show in its entirety, but the parts I HAVE seen are perfect PEAK Harley

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You awoke far too early in the morning, when it was still dark outside, in fact, to a steady bouncing on your bed. Blinking your eyes open, you could make out your girlfriend's telltale dip-dyed pink and blue pigtails as she jumped on your bed, waiting for you to wake up.

You groaned and rolled over.

"Harleyyy go back to sleep", your voice came out muffled from your pillowcase.

She plopped down, criss-cross, at the end of the bed, pouting.

"But baaabe it's Saturday!"

You huffed, rolling onto your side, facing away from her.

"Yeah, and it's also...", you checked your phone. "... three in the morning".

Harley poked out her bottom lip.

"So you don't wanna go have fun, then?"

"Nope. In fact, I think I'll stay mad at you for the rest of the day for waking me up like that".

Burying your face back in your pillow, you felt her slide off the bed and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Oh well. Guess you don't wanna help me make pancakes then".

That got you.

Slowly, you rolled over and sat up. Harley stood in the doorway, grinning. You gave her a sleepy, devious smile back.

"Pancakes, you say?"

She cackled.

"Come on, get dressed! Red's at the greenhouse, she can't stop us!"

Flash forward, you two really stuck out like sore thumbs, you thought, as you pulled up to the curb beside the grocery store. Harley sat in the passenger seat, mallet in her lap, in her red and black suit, minus the headpiece and makeup. You still wore your Batman pajama pants under your hoodie and had left the house only in your fuzzy socks. You were beginning to regret letting her drag you out of the house this early.

You groaned.

"You do know none of the stores are even open this early, right?"

Harley blew a bubble with her gum in your face, blinking at you innocently.

"So? Relax, sugar, I'll be in and out".

She leaned forward to kiss your cheek.

"What flavor do ya want?"

"Chocolate chip", you responded, rolling your eyes. "Be careful, and make it quick".

She saluted you as she slid out of the car, disappearing into the morning darkness.

While she was gone, you decided to take the time to try and get some more sleep. Wistful thinking, you realized, as not seven minutes later, you were jolting upright as the store alarms blared through the once-quiet, empty parking lot.

You sighed.

You were already scribbling a note down for the manager, along with a stack of money, when Harley jumped back in the car, clutching a grocery bag in her hand.

You tossed the money onto the sidewalk, as close to the store as it was going to get before speedily driving away.

Beside you, Harley kicked her feet up on the dash and leaned back.

"They didn't have chocolate chip, and I can't cook for shit, so I got cotton candy. Thought we could try something a little different", she said casually, as if she hadn't just robbed a grocery store at 3:30 in the morning.

You shot her a sideways glare.

"So much for 'in and out'".

"Whatever. Just drive, we're almost there".

Luckily, you managed to get the both of you back to the apartment in one piece.

Throwing her mallet onto the couch, Harley skipped into the kitchen, dumping the bag onto the counter. You leaned over, reading the instructions on the box.

"Holy cow, why can't they just materialize?" Harley muttered to herself, moving to grab the ingredients.

You laughed out loud.

"That's not how cooking works, babe".

You both washed your hands.

"I know", Harley responded cheerfully, kissing your cheek quickly at the sink before drying her hands. "But it's sure as hell a lot quicker!"

With all the ingredients laid out on the counter, you waited for Harley as she tied a pink apron on.

"So, which one of us is doin' the mixin'?" she drawled.

You grinned at her teasingly.

"Definitely not you. You know how Ivy gets about messes".

Harley sighed, twirling the end of one pigtail around her finger.

"I guess you're right...".

She began reading the ingredients out to you, and you in turn mixed them into the bowl.

Before long, you were pouring the pink and blue swirls of batter into perfect little circles on the pancake griddle. Harley was hard at work, mixing more batter.

The sun was finally starting to peek through at six o'clock, and you and Harley had amassed a heaping pile of cotton candy pancakes on multiple plates.

"Think we went a little over the top?" you asked, turning to your girlfriend as she wrapped her arms around you from behind.

You stared at each other, then the stacks of pancakes, and back again.

"Nah", you both said in unison, bursting into giggles.

You pecked Harley's lips and began individually plating the pancakes for the both of you, making sure to set one aside for Ivy.

Halfway through your pancake feast, the door swung open and Ivy burst in.

She took in the pancake stacks first, and then you and Harley, sitting on the couch enjoying them.

"Something smells good in here", she finally commented. "You two have been cooking, I see".

You giggled, shoveling more pancake into your mouth.

"Just a little", you said through a mouthful of food.

Ivy sighed, hanging up her coat and shaking her head fondly at you and Harley.

"At least you didn't burn the house down".