ONE SHOTS ⇨ THE 1OO

I L I A N | goodbye

One step closer is all you could manage to take. You could barely process the news that you had just been given. The refusal to believe that it was true overpowered your mind and you shook your head violently, your hair cascading around you as you did so.

"You can't be serious," you stammered, glancing at Ilian incredulously. Everything you had been through together had made his news a shocking surprise. He shifted and took a step closer to you, not leaving the space between the two of you that you had created in the first place.

"I am doing this for our survival. For our clan. For Trishanakru," he consoled, his eyes not daring to meet your own.

"And that means throwing your life away? You're going to be up against the best from each clan," you told him. He finally looked at you, his lips tugged into a small smile and he let out an airy breath. You felt his breath graze the skin on your face and you closed your eyes for a moment, allowing his presence to wash over you like a waterfall.

"Don't you have any faith in me?" he questioned in a joking manner, something which you thought was ridiculous of him considering the situation.

"Of course I do," you responded. This time it was you who turned your back on him and refused to meet his gaze. "But it doesn't mean I'm okay with it."

You felt his fingertips lightly brush your arm from behind. Sparks shot up and down your skin and you realized that it was extremely difficult for you to stay mad at him. Slowly you pivoted on the balls of your feet and faced him completely.

His eyes were filled with strength and sadness at the same time. "Our clan needs me, Y/N," he whispered and he took both of your hands in his.

"I still need you, Ilian," you mumbled, tears gathering in your eyes as they threaten to escalate into full sobs. It took everything in you not to scream or break down, not to do anything that would release the pain building up inside of you.

"I won't be there to need if we lose," he replied, giving your hands a small squeeze. You couldn't form the words, everything that you had ever wanted to say to him was slipping away. "And...you're right. I can't be certain that I will win."

You knew that there was no escaping this. You had tried to deny it in your head up until that point but nothing could make the fact that the conclave was happening disappear. As much as you wanted it to, it wouldn't. Ilian was your clan's best warrior and everyone would die regardless if he did or did not fight.

This war of choices and possible options raged in your mind and you shook your head, letting out a loud sob. Ilian released your hands and brought them to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that had slid down your face.

"Don't cry for me," he demurred, but you could see the tears in his eyes, just as real as yours. You felt like everything around you was falling apart and there was nothing you could do to stop it or protect the people you cared about. You had known Ilian for too long to let him go, but here you were.

"Y-you're so brave a-and you're doing the right thing," you managed to sputter out through your choked cries.  "I was being so selfish." He shook his head and pulled you into a tight hug, the warmth of his body encasing you in something that felt like comfort. Something that felt like home.

And when you imagined going without that, you felt hopeless.

"Stop. It's okay," he murmured, stroking your hair slowly with his eyes closed, attempting to savor this moment as long as he possibly could. You took long, shaky breaths and pulled him in tighter with a nod.

You wormed out of the hug and took the opportunity to press your lips against his, memorizing every part of what the sensation felt like. The once hopeful version of yourself had vanished and you knew that this was the last time you would ever see him. When you pulled away, you stared at him in silence, neither one of you having to say another word.

His glance wandered to outside of the small building the two of you had found some sort of refuge in Polis, waiting for the inevitable start of the conclave. "I have to go," he said defeatedly, knowing that the buzz of the crowd outside indicated the commencement of it all.

"I love you, Ilian," you rush out desperately, not sure what you would do if he hadn't heard it. You had to say it. You had been feeling it for so long and if he died, you wanted him to die knowing the truth.

"I love you, Y/N," he breathed, looking back between the door and you as if there was a choice to stay rather than him having to leave. You grabbed his hand and led him over to the door, the sound of the crowds growing larger as the two of you approached.

"Goodbye," you whispered, trailing your hand across the side of his face with the other still intertwined with his before pressing one last kiss on his lips.

"Goodbye," he repeated in a trembling tone. You closed your eyes and could feel his hand leaving yours, all warmth you felt leaving in an instant.

When you opened your eyes again, he was gone. Something had left with him, leaving a dark and empty absence that resonated deep in your chest.

__________

Word count: 961
Written by hufflepuffs-
Requested by hollandmyhole