I Bow To No One

Chapter 25: This is not farewell...

Sitting in that damned house was driving me absolutely mad. After the news, the company was eerily silent. There was a weight that hung heavily over me. And the looks of pity and sorrow I was receiving were not helping. So, while the company was asleep, I left. I  didn't go far of course, I had only managed to drag myself out to the little deck beneath the house. But the breath of fresh air was much appreciated.

 As I leaned on the wooden wall of the house I couldn't help but observe the silent town in front of me. Laketown was by no means a pretty sight, the houses were old and run down. And the water had an unsettling greenish brown tone that made it unappealing. The people were oily and very rude. However I'm sure most of it was from starvation an ridiculously freezing temperatures. But, there were most definitely worse places to be. This little adventure of ours has proven that much. However there was one beautiful thing about this town. If you look up you can just barely see the dwarves kingdom that once stood so proudly and strong. It almost seemed to taunt the people of Laketown... whispering the memories of a city that once flourished.  It was hard to imagine the unctuous little town in the state of it's former glory. I remembered the tales Thorin told me of this place. He  would speak of rivers of gold and treasures that stretched farther than the eye could see... Now it stood in shambles, acting as a graveyard to its former glory.

  "Its sad isn't it?" Thorin's voice came from behind me, causing me to jump.

I turned to look at him. His icy blue gaze scanned over the sleeping town and then came to rest on me.

"This town was once so beautiful... Now look at it."

"Once we destroy the dragon all will be what it  was." I assured him, offering a small smile.

My gesture was not returned. His eyes seemed to darken and his face became emotionless. After a moment he looked away from me and observed the scene around him. We remained in a tense silence for what seemed like ages until he finally spoke again.

"Why?" He spoke softly. I almost didn't hear him.

"Why what?" I asked.

"You knew... You knew exactly what was happening and you said nothing." His voice was harsh now. Anger was laced within each word.

I was a bit surprised by this. He had never spoken to me like this. Sure, he would have his irritable moments. But he had never been this upset.

"Thorin there was noth-" I began but was swiftly cut off.

"What do you expect me to do Artrain? You're the one that managed to worm your way into my heart! You wouldn't begin to understand the feelings I have for you and now you expect me to throw it all away and allow you to die!" He yelled.

The emotionless mask he put up before was gone now. His eyes showed unimaginable sadness and pain. It broke my heart to look at him.

"Thorin I-I'm sorry... But I couldn't let this happen to Kili. I would do it again if I was given the choice." I said, not able to look at him.

The only thing I could hear was his footsteps coming closer to me. I felt his course hand gently lift my chin up to have me look at him.

"Damn you.." He muttered softly before connecting our lips.

I was unable to control my emotions in that moment. Every fear, regret, and frustration seemed to come up all at once. I couldn't stop the tears that slowly rolled down my face as he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine.

"I refuse to say goodbye. You're going to live Artrain." He said softly, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

I wanted so badly to believe him. And for a second, part of me actually did. Being there with him seemed to make all the pain and fear melt away. He made me feel like It really be okay. It was in that moment that I knew that I had to fight this. I couldn't leave him behind. I was finally happy.

"This is not farewell... Not if I can help it."