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— ❝i have to say
these lies that
don't even come from my heart.

renjun,

i don't understand myself anymore. i hate you so much. you ruined me. after making me believe your lies, you just left coldly. like you didn't steal a part of me. but, why? i hate you. but why is there still a part of me that wants to see you? that still feels lonely when i remember you. a part of me that's still missing you. everyday i tell myself that i'm okay, that i don't love you anymore. my mind is telling me to hate you, to not miss you. but, why is my heart telling me the opposite?

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