Sehun One Shots (Female Reader)

Can't Sleep

Trigger warning: Mentions depression, anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks

I stared at the night sky, feeling a shiver pass through me. Maybe I should have put on a jacket, or grabbed a blanket. Either way, it was too late, now. I managed to sneak out without waking up Sehun, I doubt I could sneak back in and back out with the same luck.

Turned out I was wrong. Footsteps sounded behind me, making me wince.

"(Y/N)?" he asked sleepily. "Baby, why are you up? It's so late."

"Don't worry about it, oppa. Go get your rest, I'll be just fine."

I heard footsteps, but they only came closer until his arms were around my waist.

"Even so, I won't sleep if you won't."

"Sehun, you have work tomorrow. Go in and sleep."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong and agree to go back to bed."

I shook my head at how stubborn he was.

"Fine, but let's go in. It's cold."

He obliged, taking my hand and leading me back inside. Carefully, we sat beside each other on the bed, him rubbing my hand with his thumb.

"Now, tell me what's wrong."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "It's knid of...Ani, let's just sleep."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "No. I refuse to rest until you tell me what's wrong."

When I realized he really wasn't giving up, I sighed. "Fine. For a long time, ten or so years, I've had...panic attacks, or anxiety attacks, or whatever. I'll be happy, minding my own business, and, out of nowhere, I'll get hit with these crushing, awful instances that are so horrible and likely that it physically pains me. It leaves me so broken that I can't think about anything else, and it keeps me up at night, literally."

"What do you see?" he asked quietly.

"A lot of things. The boys convincing you to hate me because I drag you down. You hating me because I did something terrible and leaving me. Me, old and sorry, dying alone and silently in a hospital."

I didn't realize I had started crying until I felt Sehun standing in front of me, wiping my tears with his thumbs.

"Hey, calm down," he soothed. "None of that will happen. The boys see you as a sister, they could never hate you. I could never hate you, either, I love you more than anything. I promise, you will not be alone when you die. I'll make sure to die after you so you don't have to live without me."

"So you want me to die first?" I joked, lightening the mood a little as he chuckled.

"I'd rather spend my last days upset over you than have you watch me die and be left alone."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever floats your boat, babe." He laughed again, lying down in the bed and pulling me against him.

"Next time this happens," he muttered once we had settled in the bed, "don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm willing to listen to anything to make you feel better."