insieme . rants

here's why

ok, so this is going to be the chapter where i explain why i was absent from wp for about 1.5 weeks. i'm also going to update you all on what's been happening. 

I needed some me time to just relax. that's an important part of everyone's life and i had definitely had enough of it. school ended about a week ago and I still haven't shaken all the stress from it away. actually just yesterday i passed by it and as i glanced at it i could  LEGITIMATELY FEEL a literal ball of stress pooling in my stomach. it's sad to think that just the image of my school could do that to me. so i needed to let at least some of that go before i did anything else online. im sorryi haven't been here to update all of my books and definitely my rant book but i am a priority and my health needed to be rebooted. i was just so tired all the time and i needed to fix that. But HELLO AGAIN! i am back to update and be trash on my rant book.

THE PAST FEW WEEKS/DAYS IN A NUTSHELL:

we will start from least recently and go from there---

ok, so i didn't really do anything the first few days after school except go shopping and find this AMAZING dress that i must have because it looks so GOOD on me. (thanks to  @angelicaschuyler22 for saying you'll buy it for my bday :))

then i watched Wonder Woman with @beru42 and @Queen2and5 and amanda which was SPECTACULAR and i CRIED and sObBeD but that's ok because OMG WHAT HOW IS IT SO GOOD. i will see it again with my dad and again with my mom because WoW.

then Archaeology camp started which i was doing with @Queen2and5. it was fabulous and i loved it. i learned so much and made a lot of things. i wrote a sentence in one of the many American Indian languages and ground my own cornmeal in a primitive mortar and pestle. it was great. i met some cool people there and our counselors were fun. 

that ended yesterday which was when i realized how much school had been affecting me. as i said before, when i drove past it i thought about how much i had done and how much stuff i still had to do and my summer work and all the books i have to read and how much stress school had made me feel. i thought about the fights me and my mom had had because i was staying up too late because i cared about my grades too much and about how much more stress there was to come in a bit over 2 months. as i thought i could physically feel the stress pooling in my stomach and i realized the reason for my absence from wattpad. i don't know why but it was almost like a pressure. it was almost like wattpad was pressuring me to write and edit and revise and make you guys happy and do well and it was too much to handle after being at school for 9 months. so i took a break. simple as that.

THEN today happened. i woke up normally, watched some youtube vids on my iPad (lucy i have subscribed to your channel as of yesterday) and got annoyed about going to karate this morning. i went and unofficially taught this girl how to do some stickwork and then how to prevent being tackled (bullposting) and after i finished teaching her the stickwork i praised her and she said "well i learned from the best!" i just smiled for the rest of class. its so meaningful to get that kind of compliment for me.  i struggle with negative self-talk and to get that kind of compliment makes me just so happy and content with what im doing. and then things got better. after class ended and I had FABULOUSLY demonstrated bullposting to the class on my instructor he pulled me aside. i got nervous as i always do when he does this but he ended up fricking OFFERING ME A TEACHING JOB AT THE ACADEMY. ONE THAT PAYS. I WOULD BE PART OF THE LEGIT STAFF THAT TEACHES. IM STILL A STUDENT. BUT I WAS OFFERED A LEGIT JOB BECAUSE IM SO NATURAL AT TEACHING AND MY INSTRUCTOR NOTICED THAT. IM SO STOKED. I might even teach this summer and sometimes during the year. im just so proud of myself! 

then in like 20 mins, amanda is coming to get me so we can go horseback riding. 

So life is good!