Nosaes

XIV

Chapter 14

            The next morning I wake up with extremely sore everything, inside and out. I don’t want to move but Kellen is rushing me out the door. We don’t shower, we just go. I’m still asleep for the first half of the walk, and the second half I’m too hungry to talk. We stop at the next cabin so I can shower and we can eat. We shower quickly and we eat quicker. “Ready?” Kellen asks.

“Not really,” I admit.

“Sore?”

“And tired.”

“I’d offer to let you nap but I think we should just go.”

“I think so too.”

            I follow him through the woods. He hasn’t cried, or cried in front of me at least, since Teague died. What is going through his mind? I want to ask, but I’m sure he’d tell me if he wanted me to know. “How often do you think about Talus?” I ask instead.

“Everyday. How often do you think about Teague?”

“Everyday.”

“It’s odd,” he says.

“What is?”

“We both lost our brothers, then we both lost our partners.”

“I don’t like the word partner. Naveen was my friend and Adair was yours.”

“I never kissed Adair though.”

I laugh, “Well I never kissed Naveen.”

“Do you feel guilty?”

“About who?”

“All of them I guess.”

“Not really. I mean, I couldn’t have saved Teague, I couldn’t Naveen…” But I could have saved Adair, if I had noticed.

“I guess that means I couldn’t have either. I could have saved Talus.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I could have. If I would have just told him no, that we were just going to stay inside, he’d still… well he’d still be here. It’s my fault, and every day I wish it were me.”

“You can’t live your life on the ‘what if’s’. You have to live your life on the outcomes of your actions. Plus if you wouldn’t have taken him, I would.”

“Like those are any better; a dead brother and a dead girlfriend and a dead friend.”

            We walk quietly for a while. I want to reach out to him but quite frankly I don’t know what to say. I’ve lost the same people he has, and then some. We pass a cabin, but don’t stop. That’s okay with me. I’d like to get somewhere permanent and as fast as possible. “It’s getting dark, do you think we should stop?” I ask.

“No, I think there’s one more cabin just ahead. We can sleep there tonight.”

            At least he was right about the vicinity of this one. I hope this is the last cabin. Inside is cozy, like a little house. I like it. Kellen raids the panty and he gasps. “What?” I ask.

“They have coffee.” I roll my eyes. “What? Coffee is great.”

“Never had any.”

“How have you never had coffee?”

“I always just slept, like a normal teenager.”

“Oh whatever. I’m making it.”

            He flips on the light and I feel like my head it going to explode. I squint and shield my eyes. “What kind of light is that?” I ask.