Pray With Me

8. A BRAND NEW DAY

Scully's alarm woke her up at 6 am.

"Mulder"She called and she only heard silence. Mulder had folded the sheets and put the pajamas in the laundry room and even had put coffee on the machine for her. He let a post-it note in her cup.

"See you at work!"

Scully showered and got ready for work. She was strangely happy. Her mind just looking forward to see Mulder again. Which was curious since Mulder and her already spend more than enough time together, why was she so excited about a daily occurrence?

Everything seemed slightly different today. The coffee tasted better, maybe Mulder added something to it? Her skin felt softer and the sky seemed bluer. The sun warm and brighter. It was a great day for some reason. It was like last night all the sadness slipped away in her tears. She found a song in the radio of her car and sang along. All the time thinking about Mulder and imagining what the day will bring for both.

When she walked across the door she saw him. She had done this a thousand times before, but today her heart leapt. A strange sensation in the pit of her stomach took over her and she smiled for no reason.

"Good morning" Mulder beamed back at her.

"Good morning!" He answered. He kept his eyes on her as she walked towards the desk and sat down his lips slightly parted. Was she imagining this?

She tried to calm herself down, but there was something about him this morning that made her feel a pull towards him.

"Did you slept well last night?" She asked waiting for an answer. He hesitated a second, biting his lips sideways. She liked that gesture too much today. What was he thinking?

"...Yes...you?"

"Yes..," she said taking a deep breath. Both of them chuckled for no reason. She cleared her throat.

"Any new case?" She said. There was something different about everything today. She wondered what was it. Today it seemed that the office was smaller, they kept leaning on each other, brushing their limbs while examining folders and paperwork. Every time they got closer it seemed like the static in the room was ignited and the draw they both felt intensified. They were often driven to each other presences, they have for years, but this was not an intellectual need to debate or a psychological need to prove the other wrong. Not a mental exercise to solve a case. Neither worry for their safety and well-being.

This was magnetism, primal, instinctual. Every cell of their skin was electrified. Scully noticed that Mulder's intensity was more focused on her. The way his eyes lingered on her lips, how he leaned in close enough that she could smell him. Was she imagining it? Was he always looking at her like this and she only saw it now? It was like a switch has been flicked somewhere inside her.

Mulder had noticed the change earlier. He woke up one hour before her. He also felt a lightness in his spirit. A sensation unlike of the pain of the night before and a day that seemed more dazzling than every other morning. Like a veil had been lifted from his eyes. He folded the sheets, put on his clothes and put on the coffee for Scully. Then he went to make sure she was still asleep before he left her.

It was like he saw her for the first time. She was always aware that Scully was an attractive woman and he had seen her sleep dozens of times; in cars during stakeouts,or chairs, on the bed when they had to share rooms in fact he joked that she could fall sleep anywhere. But this morning just looking at her while she was peacefully in Morpheus's arms was different. The way her face was slightly flushed, her lips parted, the strand of her hair falling on her forehead. He got closer, carefully removed the loose lock from her face with one finger. Her skin felt like silk and a current of electricity ran on his index. She sighed, but kept sleeping. He could feel the warmth of her body and a sweet scent irradiating from her figure. Without warning a spellbinding impulse to kiss her lips overcame him. Barely aware he leaned in. When his face was inches from hers, he stood up, unsettled.

He was not supposed to feel this way. Scully needed a friend now more than ever, this was not a friendly act on his part. He left before he did something he will surely regret. It was not the first time his body had betrayed the deeper desires of his soul. He already tried to kiss her once, in the heat of a moment, an impulse he later labeled hormone-driven. Scully never talked about their near kiss or gave him any indication that this was the path she wanted their relationship take. He imagined she was relieved he never brought the subject again. No awkward talks or clumsy explanations. The drive to his apartment was unnerving. He could always push these ideas back, so deep inside he would forget they were even there. He wouldn't allow himself to think of it, with his obsessive nature and photographic memory it was dangerous to him and to Scully to let himself fantasize too much about what was not meant to be.

He went home and took a shower as cold as he could tolerate. He felt better afterward—more in control, calm. He could move on from this, he had to. While he was shaving he reminded himself how disastrous it would be if he were to say something. He could see Scully's reactions in his mind. Sometimes she was sweet, compassionate, maternal:

"Oh Mulder... This is why I wanted you to try to have a life outside the X-files. I was afraid that without any other emotional connection this was might happen...I'm so sorry I would never want to hurt you, but you know you are like a brother to me. I think we should try to take some distance from each other. Is better that way." Sometimes she was sarcastic, mocking.

"Really, Mulder? This is quite possibly the craziest idea you ever had. We are different people, with different goals. I think maybe we are spending too much time together...I will be taking a long vacation maybe meet someone. You should try the same I'm sure you can met some paranoid girl who believes in aliens if you really try." Sometimes she was furious, hurt.

"What the hell Mulder?! I gave you the best years of my life. I lost my health for you, my friends, my family, my reputation, almost my life and that is not enough? You still want more? You want to take away my hopes of a normal life with a man who could give it to me? I did all this for you because I trusted you, because I thought I was safe with you but I was wrong. You are not a man in a quest to save the world you are a selfish bastard. A black hole that wants to consume the few good things I still have for myself...I can't take this anymore... I QUIT?!"

The only rational response Scully could have to his feelings was leaving at once. He couldn't lose Scully, he just couldn't. He couldn't live without her now. He switched back to the reality of the friendship he convinced himself was more than enough, dressed for work and left apartment 42 and went to the FBI.

He was first as usual and he got ready to start his day. Normally thinking about Scully's questions over the evidence helped him to put his feelings back where they belong. He was then able to treat Scully professionally and friendly just as it was meant to be.

But today when Scully opened the door to the basement office. None of his careful mental restraints resisted her sight. She had the same irresistible glow he saw on her when she was on her bed. Her face blinding him removing those emotions that at this point should be buried. The fire on his being burned hotter than before. The intense awareness of her presence grew stronger, impossible to ignore. He tried to focus on something else, but the way her smile seemed to dance on her face and how he couldn't help but smile back for no reason was distracting him from this goal. He also felt the office was smaller; their bodies, coming in casual contact more often. Her hips seemed to always find a way to brush against him. Was she always like this? He did his best to act normal. It seemed after a few minutes both of them were interacting as usual,but the change in the air still hung in the background. A life force vibrant, warm, intoxicating. They both secretly hoped this was just a play of this strange new day and everything will be back to normal tomorrow or the day after, but soon.