For The Days We Cannot Retrieve

i've tried to wash you away, but you just won't leave

"I'll never leave you."

"You know we're friends forever, Cammie!"

"Come with me."

"Let's go where our souls live for eternity."

Camila woke up with sweat running down her face, breathing heavily. She ran a hand through her sweaty damp hair, a sigh escaping her lips. She wasn't prepared for another day of hell.

She threw on a shirt and sat on the edge of her bed, willing herself to get up for the day. Staying on the phone with Lauren til they fell asleep definitely wasn't a good idea.

She trudged to the bathroom, not recognizing the face in the mirror. It was as if she was staring at a complete stranger. She looked homeless.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to make the tired go away. She sighed once again and turned the faucet on, her eyes never leaving her own reflection. 'What happened to Camila Cabello?' She thought, examining her face once more. She splashed cold water on her face, trying to rid herself of the zombie look she's been sporting lately.

"You're beautiful, you know." Camila's head snapped up, her eyes locking on to mirror. Her best friend was leaning against the door frame, that classic smirk on her features. "In a totally non-lesbian way."

Camila laughed at her goofy friend, toothpaste running down her chin. She quickly spit out the foaming substance, a small smile on her face as she dried her mouth. "Thank you, I think?"

Andrea rolled her eyes and tossed a piece of lint at the smaller girl. "I'm serious! You're like," She paused for a moment "Breathtaking, bro. See, I even had to catch my breath right there."

Camila chuckled and shook her head at her friends antics. "You know, Dre, if you wanted to date me you could've just asked."

Andrea cracked a smile, pushing her away. "As if." She smirked, "Besides, I'm pretty sure that girl who looks like Beyoncé in our 5th period, was totally staring at your ass."

Camila covered her mouth to prevent the laughter begging to come out. "There's no fucking way that's true. Dinah has a whole ass girlfriend and I'm pretty sure they hate me. They give me the dirtiest looks, like, EVER."

Andrea groaned and fell back on the bed, pointing at the ceiling furiously. "I seent it! With my own eyes! I seent it!"

Camila bursted out in laughter, her laugh boisterous and carefree. "You're such an idiot, I swear to God."

Andrea giggled and shrugged, "But it made you laugh, so it doesn't matter."

Camila jumped in surprise when she felt a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned around, her mom looking at her with soft eyes. "Is everything okay, mija?" Camila felt as if the shards of her already broken heart were being crushed like glass under someone's shoe. She didn't think okay would ever be a word to discribe herself as.

She nodded anyways, not wanting to worry her mother more than she already has. Sinu rubbed her shoulder softly, a small smile on her lips. "I met your friend, Lauren yesterday."

Camila sat down on her bed, nodding at her mothers statement. "I'm aware. She says you're a very nice lady."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. She wished Camila would open up to her.

Camila shook her head, "I don't even remember. I'm sorry if I scared you." Sinu sighed and just pulled her daughter closer to her. "It's alright mija, I know you're going through a lot."