Changing Tides

A Kaleidoscope of Memories

He was purposely trying to provoke me.

I didn't know what I had done to warrant his ire but I had somehow gained it.

For days and weeks on end he had been pushing me, his tone short and his words abrupt. He kept pushing at the barriers that was our relationship and I was cracking. The pressure was becoming too much under his unbridled anger.

He blamed me for something but he wasn't man enough to tell me yet. He acted as if he no longer needed me. I guess he had finally replaced me like I always feared he would.

I guess he didn't need this mother's love any longer.

The day had come when my little boy was no longer my little boy and I felt the blow to my being

The grass bristled harshly in my ears as his breath gushed over my shoulder, his breathing purposefully heavy as he fidgeted ostentatiously. The blades of grass crushing beneath his growing body.

The sharp snap snap of the crippled blades halted me in my chants. My fist clenching along my knees as I had to physically restrain myself from reprimanding him and starting another argument.

I shut my lids tighter and began praying again this time asking for patience and a sane mind because this child was determined to drive me crazy.

Just as I was falling back Into the natural vibrations that the tree at my back provided, my chant was halted again. This time by the filthy and unfiltered mouth of the child beside me.

"This is shit," he gritted, a twig flying passed my head as he threw the stick.

A sharp gasp filtered through the air between us as my head rose and I glared at the boy in front of me. Grey eyes staring defiantly back at me.

"Mama, Kai said bad word," her big blue eyes peering up at me as her small hand wrapped around her lips. I nodded my head noncommittally at her, not giving her the attention she needed because yes, Kaiser had said a bad word in front of me and his young and impressionable sister.

"Bad," she repeated her little fist wobbling as she waved it at her brother.

"Shut it Winnie," he grumbled, forcing her hand ways from him rather forcefully. Winter toppled to her bottom, eyes wide and then she was blubbering.

Her little face blotched red as she grew angry at his callous words. "No," she screamed and then ran off across the field. Her legs pumping as she tumbled off to go find Carson who was within my line of sight.

I felt the hairs at the nape of my neck turning grey at the turn of events, my nostrils flaring as I did everything I could to control my tongue.

I stared at this boy, this stranger. This imposter who sat in front of me with golden skin, cloudy green eyes and blonde curly hair. His cheeks chiselled and lips pouty, nose wide and brows thick.

He glared back, face a mask of disgust and outrage as if I had betrayed him. As if my presence offended him. Seeing his disdain for me was another dagger to my heart, the organ torn into pieces as life moved on and I struggled to keep living.

"Don't you ever speak or touch your sister like that again," I gritted, my tone controlled and as even as I make it.

"She is not my sister though, is she?" Words like a whip, lashed across my face and had me jerking back in shock.

His eyes softened at my response but at this point I was unseeing, disbelieving because I had received one too many blows to comprehend this level of rejection.