On Set

28

We made it to Ireland. It took us eight months but we eventually got there. A lot happened in those 8 months too.

A couple days after the premiere everyone was talking about me. Well, me with Chris. I got a lot of different comments. Some called me a whore, some said I sabotaged Chris' old engagement. If I got a dollar every time someone called me fat, I would be the richest woman in history. I could probably buy Disney with that money.

I'd been called ugly, stupid, unworthy, a gold digger. Anything negative you can think of, I was called it. But I had been called good things too. Some magazines liked my dress from that night. I was called beautiful, smart, strong, and sweet. It's been a roller coaster.

When I read some comments sometimes I laughed, sometimes I wondered why people had that much time on their hands and sometimes I wanted to hug them through the screen. Some people did their research on me very thoroughly, they came up with some dirt. Chris told me to stop reading the comments and, eventually I did. I wanted to know what others thought of me. Doesn't everyone? They honestly didn't annoy me as much as I thought they would. The comments didn't annoy me but the press thing does.

I was stuck in the office a couple days after the premiere trying to organize some things. The elevator rung and I looked up from my desk to see who it was.

"Ma'am what can I do today?" I asked looking at the woman who stepped out of the elevator. She wore some faded jeans and a stylish pink blouse. She looked around the empty office like she was going to take notes on it.

"Are you Lucy Jones?"

"Yes I am."

"Did you end the relationship between Chris Evans and his fiancé?"

"Unless you need a set built, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The lady stood there and thought about her choices for a second or two. I was afraid she wasn't going to leave. She finally came to the decision to leave and she showed herself out. Once she was out of the room I sighed and went back to work. I couldn't focus that well though. The whole idea of people trying to pry into my business made me nervous. They knew where I was.

Later that day I left work around four to go home. I grabbed my stuff and pressed the elevator button. Once I was on the ground floor I noticed three or four people standing outside the building with cameras. I took a deep breath and straightened my clothes. I smoothed down my hair, checked my make up and walked out of the elevator. I kept my head held high and my walk confident. I pushed through the photographers and said nothing.
They followed me to my car, some were asking questions.

How did you and Chris meet?
Did you break up his old relationship?
Are you dating Chris for the publicity?

I kept my face composed and unreadable. I slowly put the car in reverse and tried to get out of the parking lot.

I drove home feeling uncomfortable and anxious in my own skin. I felt jittery and nauseous. I kind of had an itch to go somewhere. I wanted to escape, slow my heart. I wanted to feel peaceful. So I kept driving. I drove and I drove some more. I stopped at a beach called Sycamore Cove Beach. I called Chris once I arrived.

"Hey where are you?"

"You really want to know?"

"Depends."