verge | jikook

xvii

"sleep jimin," jin said, "you need to rest."

"i can't," jimin said tossing in bed, "i want jeongguk here."

jin turned to his side on his bed as he looked across to see jimin on his side and on his phone, "jimin, put that away." in response, the boy groaned, "what if he wakes up and they call and i miss it-"

"do you love him?" jin said suddenly. jimin lowered his phone to see jin looking at him serious about the question. "yes."

jin got up from bed and pulled something from the drawer - letters. "jeongguk gave me this in the car before we went to you," jin said then walked over to jimin's bed where jimin sat up, and jin handed the letters to jimin then went back to bed with his back at jimin. jimin turned on the lamp light that was furthermost from jin, so he wouldn't wake up.

opening the letter jimin began to read;

hyung, what do i do? i think i love him, but my hatred won't go away. how do i get rid of it?

hyung, he was looking at me during lunch! but i scowled him...

hyung, is it obvious that i like him?

hyung, when should i give you these letters...

hyung, is it lame i write down every encounter i have with jimin?

hyung, i like jimin. i don't want to hurt him. what do i do.

hyung, hyung kill me, i did something bad.

hyung, i told jimin to go die, what do i do. i don't want him to die.

hyung, what do i do. what do i do.

jimin wiped his tears that were rolling down his cheek with his sleeve as he continued to read the letters jeongguk wrote to jin;

hyung. if i chose to die, let me. don't ask me questions, please just let me.

jimin's hands began to shake, what was jeongguk talking about? he wondered;

you shouldn't ask because as a suicidal person, we don't have a reason. we just want to. at least that's mine.

jimin looked up at jin, his back was still at him then he looked down at the next letter;

hyung, i'll confess to jimin then die.

please don't stop me.

jimin dropped the letter and ran to jin, he flipped his hyung on his back to see jin crying, "hyung, "jimin said, he's not going to.."

jin didn't answer, for his tears were the answers. jimin quickly took jin's keys and drove back to the hospital.

-

"visiting hours are over sir," said the nurse, "you have to leave please."

jimin started to break down, "no, please, i need to see him. please give me a minute. let me make sure he is okay, i'll leave then, please. please, i need to see him." the nurse sighed and looked around, the halls were empty then she nodded. jimin thanked her then opened jeongguk's door.