Chapter XIV: Heavy Hearts

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Joana

She hadn't ever heard of the Red Room before. Danika had never mentioned it.
"It's run by the Committee of State Security of the USSR," Pierce told her, pouring a glass of golden alcohol into a glass. "Or the-"
"Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti," Joana said, her voice hard. "The KGB."
Pierce smiled.
"Very good, Joana! They want our help to train some of their new recruits. Well, they want you and Barnes to help train them," Pierce said, handing her the glass. He poured himself another. With shaking hands, Joana brought the liquid to her lips and took a long drink. She had gotten used to the taste over the past few months. All the pain she had gone through, everything that he did to her, and here she was, drinking whiskey with him. Pierce sighed and set his glass on the table beside his bed.
"Joana, you know why I had to do to you what I did, right? You were out of control under the Commander. The only way you could grow was if we broke you first. You understand that, right?" Pierce almost sounded if he was worried what she thought of him. Joana took another sip of whiskey and laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"That fact that you seem to think that any of this is," she opened her arms to the room around her, "Is any recompense for what you did to me. Or the fact that you justify kidnapping, murder, torture, human experimentation, human exploitation, war crimes, assault, abuse, mind control, and whatever else you've done by saying it's all for 'science' and 'world peace'. You are a psychopath."
Pierce slapped her face so hard that that glass fell from her hand. She glared at Pierce, her cheek glowing red, but there was she could do to retaliate.
"Sometimes, I find that lip of yours attractive, but if you ever talk to me that way again, I will not hesitate to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger." To anyone else, the words from his mouth would have been terrifying, but Joana had seen worse things in her days.
"I dare you."

***

Joana walked down the corridor, her heart pounding in her chest. In her mind, the alarm blared overhead. She looked to her side where the Winter Soldier was walking without a word, but all she saw was Bucky running beside her, his face set in stone as he prepared himself to be rid of HYDRA once and for all. Where Danika should have been standing was a soldier, making sure that neither her nor Barnes were going anywhere. Like he could do anything if they decided to leave.
When they turned a corner, Joana froze completely. The soldiers in the hallway faded; the sounds of their footsteps were far away. Joana saw herself, standing over Aleksi. Behind them was Bucky, holding a dying Danika in his arms. Tears filled her eyes.
"Don't do it!" She yelled to herself, but the words she said were muffled, and her other self couldn't hear her. "Stop!" She watched in utter horror as the other Joana dropped to the ground and started to beat the life out of the soldier who had tormented her for years. Her hands came to her mouth as she saw how gruesome his death was. Looking past herself and the murder taking place, Joana saw Bucky and Danika. Danika was still alive. She was trying to say something to Bucky, but he was telling her to stay silent, to focus on living. Joana walked forwards, but every step took her farther from the scene, instead of closer.
A hand wrapped around her wrist. Startled, Joana tore her gaze from the bloody scene before her and towards the hand. She looked into the eyes of the Soldier, who was the one holding her wrist.
"You were yelling." He spoke gruffly, stoic. Still caught in her memories, Joana's eyes glazed over.
"What did she say to you?" She asked him, voice breaking. "Before she died, Bucky, what did Danika say to you?"
The Soldier scowled and was about to respond, when a hand grabbed her shoulder and tore her from his grip. Joana was thrown into a wall. Pierce was standing there, red in the face. He grabbed her neck and squeezed.
"What did I tell you about using that name?" He seethed at her, dribbles of spit flying from his lips. She gasped and clawed at his hands, her legs kicking out at him.
"Pierce," Karpov said. Pierce turned away from Joana to Bucky, who was scowling and looking at the ground. Pierce dropped Joana to the ground and slapped her across the face. Coughing, she crawled away from him, but he grabbed her by the hair.
"What's wrong, Soldier?"Karpov asked in Russian.
"Who is Bucky?" He asked in the same language.
"You see what we have to deal with now?" Pierce hissed in Joana's ear as he pulled her to her feet. "Go on, Joana, tell the Soldier who Bucky is. What happened to Bucky?"
Joana glared at him, setting her jaw and sealing her lips. He slapped her again.
"What happened to Bucky, Joana?" He yelled in her face. Tears gathered in her eyes, tears of frustration and sorrow. "What happened to him?" He threw her to the ground and started to kick her in the stomach. Lifting her bleeding face to Bucky, who was caught somewhere between anger and confusion, he grabbed hold of her face and squeezed.
"What happened to Bucky?"
"He died," she seethed, glared at Pierce with every ounce of hatred she had inside her.
"Tell him."
With resistance, Joana turned her gaze to Bucky.
"Bucky was a man I used to be in love with, but he died," she said, looking up at his scrunched up face.
"Why did you call me Bucky?" He asked her, eyes narrowed.
"I had a memory of him, and I was out of mind. You are not Bucky. He is dead."
Pierce let her go, shoving her head downwards. He walked towards Karpov and whispered something in his ear. Joana sat on the ground, coughing, spluttering, and spitting up blood. The Soldier knelt down to help her up.
"Partner," he said. She gave him a weak smile. He almost reciprocated it, and Joana almost saw Bucky Barnes in his eyes again, but Karpov had to ruin it. He pulled out a small, red book and started to read from it.
"Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy." Bucky let go of Joana's arm. She had seen them do this to him before. With tears in her eyes, she backed away from him. "Semnadtsat'. Rassvet." Joana turned around, completely facing away from the Soldier and Karpov. "Pech'. Devyat'. Dobroserdechnyy."
Pierce grabbed her arm, eyes still angry, and started to pull her away as Karpov continued to read the words. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she walk down the hallway. She pushed out the memories of the things that had happened in the hallway, and let Pierce lead her towards the airplane they would be taking to the Red Room. When Bucky joined them a few minutes later, everything that reminded her of Bucky was once again gone. She looked away from him and refused to meet his gaze the entire ride.

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