First chapter. an inconsistent confusion of tenses. Choose one and stick to it!
Ridiculous conversation between children. A Main Character who can't keep her own secret for no coherent reason other than because the plot demands it.
Unclear atmosphere the author is going for. Suddenly takes a dramatic turn out of nowhere. MC has not earned my two shits.
Second chapter. A lot of telling. Laughable dialogue beats on top of laughable dialogue. Pacing is off. Pass.
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Hotlist Horrors
Random"How did this make it into the hot list, again?" Where I snark on Wattpad's hotlist books Cover made by @Amanda-Mae
