Checkmate (Camren)

From past to present (32)

NOTE: The flashback continues in this chapter.

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Lauren Jauregui's Point Of View

*Flashback On*

My head seemed to seethe with everything that happened during the last few hours. How did everything get out of control like that? I was lost, without knowing what to do, even when my obligations were clear. Camila was a criminal, and I was a police officer, this could never work.

"Dammit!" I exclaimed angrily, punching the steering wheel of my car.

The images of that video repeated constantly, emphasizing in my head an excuse to justify the Latina's improper acts. Nothing, unfortunately, nothing justified doing justice with her own hands, not to the police. The big problem was that my heart didn't seem to understand that, because it tried at all costs to make my head accept that I could forgive her. I couldn't. Camila had lied, not only to Christopher during their long marriage, but to everyone around her, including me, the person she said she was in love with.

"Why do you have to be like this?" I wondered out loud.

I shook my head as I continued driving down the streets of New York, on my way home. After the confrontation in the abandoned warehouse, where I could finally discover everything, including the reasons for Camila to exercise such practices, I let her leave. I knew it was wrong, that the brunette could very well gather all the stolen money and disappear in the world in a sudden escape. However, I simply couldn't react in any other way at the sight of her lost gaze after we watched the video in which Christopher Collins murdered Charlie Cooper. Despite her strong and imposing air, characteristic of her unique personality, I could notice the lack of sparkle in her brown eyes, now so dull. It was clear the way how that brutally affected her. Camila, at one point in her life, was broken, and now she was thirsty for revenge.

"I shouldn't have let you go! What did you do, Lauren?!" I said to myself, in an internal conflict between right and wrong.

What if she had the guts to kill Collins? What if she really ran away? I would have ruined everything for being weak enough, for not handing Camila's head on a silver platter over to the police. Until when could I leave my feelings aside to fulfill my duty as a cop?

I huffed in frustration, and stepped on the accelerator. I needed some time for myself, a time away from all that. I couldn't simply act on impulse, I needed to think and analyze everything that any decision of mine could entail. Dawn seemed more cold than normal, the traffic was weak, there were only a few cars driving down the deserted avenues. It wouldn't be long until morning; and when everyone was active, I wanted to be far away from here. As soon as I got home, I took care of packing a small suitcase, being careful not to wake up Veronica. I had decided that I needed to get away, even if only for a couple of days. I could give an excuse at work, like a last minute trip to complement my investigation, which was now complete. But my real destination was in Miami, in my family's new house. They could bring me calmness.

[...]

Wrong, they couldn't. Not when my head was full of thoughts that involved Camila Collins. She was more than anyone could bear. She infiltrated my head, and remained there for an indefinite time.

"I'm so happy you're here, sweetie." Mike said as he lightly stroked my arm.

"Me too, dad. I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said as he hugged me sideways. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming? I'd have picked you up at the airport."

"Oh, I wanted to surprise you. And I think I succeeded."