good love ▷ k.hendricks

.1

Eleanor

Deep breaths, Eleanor. Try to fall asleep.

After what feels like hours of repeating that in my mind, it still hasn't worked. I slowly pull myself out of bed, walk out to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and take notice of the time in a green light on the microwave's clock. It's 2:30. I came home after tonight's game and told Kyle I was going to bed while he stayed up, but I couldn't actually fall asleep, and I was still wide awake when he joined me.

I grab a bottle from the fridge and pace around our apartment a few times before sitting down at the kitchen table. I run my hands through my hair and stare down the notebook on the table that's surrounded by some of the papers that I need to grade tomorrow.

It's been a rough past few days, and today has been the worst. The Cubs are down 3-1 in the World Series. The loss today, well, technically yesterday, has taken a negative effect on most of us. Kyle told me he was okay on the way home, but I've learned to read him these past few years, and I know he's not.

I pull the notebook on my table in my direction and find a pen buried under a paper. I turn on the lamp that's a few feet from where I'm sitting so I can see what I'm doing, and I take a deep breath.

I need him to know a few things. He's obviously frustrated right now, but I need him to know all of these things and I need him to remember I'm going to love him regardless.

I tap the pen against the table as I'm thinking about how to start this, and I just say, "Fuck it," in my mind and let the words flow out of the pen.

"Seven hundred and thirty days since I saw the most nervous you I've ever seen..."

***

2014.

"Hey, Eleanor, Aaron," Charlotte says as she enters the teachers' lounge. She opens up the fridge and pulls out a container she must have brought in today and she joins Aaron and me at the small table I'm sitting at.

"Hey," Aaron and I say in unison and I go back to eating my salad. Charlotte starts talking about what had happened in her English class an hour ago and starts talking about the one student that's always causing her issues. I try my hardest not to tune her out, however, I feel like I've heard this story ten times before.

"Anyway," Charlotte turns to me as her story finally ends and I eternally groan because I had a feeling this conversation she's about to start would be brought up again eventually. "Guess who's leaving on Sunday."

"Kyle? You told me." I take a bite of my salad.

"Yes! And since he's leaving in three days, you need to do something about your feelings, kid. Especially since I can tell that-"

I cut her off, "- I'll be okay, Charlotte. If it's meant to be, it'll happen."

"But Eleanor," she presses, "He won't be in Chicago again until April. I understand that you have the whole 'fate' thing in your mind right now, but you need to tell fate to fuck off-" The other English teacher, who happens to be about sixty, glares in our direction at Charlotte's word choice, "- and you need to make your own fate instead of waiting for it to happen to you."

I look down at my hands. The thought of starting a relationship with somebody new hasn't been the easiest for me lately, but at the same time, I can't help but feel how I feel about Kyle. Do I really want to wait until April, maybe even longer than that, to do something?

I don't think I do.

"I'll... I'll figure something out. Thanks, Charlotte. How are things going with you?"

"I have a date this weekend! And it's not another Tinder thing, I swear...." I roll my eyes and start listening to her talk about this guy she's seeing this weekend.

***

My iPhone vibrates in the back pocket of my pants as I step into my apartment after I'm able to leave the school. I set all of my stuff down on the coffee table by the couch and check the notification, and I'm internally smiling once I see who texted.

Kyle Hendricks: Hey, mind if I drive over? I'll even bring pizza:)

I can't even hold back a grin this time. I'm one of those people that would be fine eating pizza every day.

I text him back.

Me: go ahead. but what's the special occasion?:)

My phone vibrates again.

Kyle Hendricks: The occasion being: I'll be gone for five months and we should do something before I go.

Me: i'm not complaining, nerd.

Kyle Hendricks: I'll be there in 20.

I set my phone down on the counter and take a deep breath. I need to do something about this tonight, don't I? This really is my chance to do something, isn't it?

I open up the cabinet that's the home to all of my tableware and bring down two of my plates, setting them next to each other on the countertop. I pick my phone up again, sliding it into my back pocket, and I turn on my heels to get two glasses out of a separate cabinet. I walk into my bathroom and look back at my reflection in the mirror, and I'm actually freaking out. I shouldn't be this nervous, but then again, I haven't actually felt this way about a guy since Aaron. And after Aaron happened, I was convinced that I would never find interest in anybody else.

And then the Dartmouth boy comes around.

I fix my hair and turn a little bit to make sure I still look somewhat presentable before going back out to my living room and taking a seat on my couch. Immediately, I start doing that stupid leg shaking thing I do whenever I'm nervous, and I don't even notice I'm doing it until minutes later.

Lord, I hate myself.

Twenty minutes roll by in what seems like twenty hours, and I hear a knocking on my door and I jolt up. I take another deep breath and streighten out my shirt before walking over to my door and opening to see a 6'3 figure on the other side holding a pizza box.

"Hey, El. You like pepperoni, don't you?"

"Oh, hell yeah. Come in," I move out of the way so he can walk through the door frame and he sets the box on the dinner table. "I set plates on the counter," I tell him and he just nods his head and turns to pick up a plate. I shut the door and make my way to the counter to get a plate so I can finally eat something.

***

A couple of hours pass and we're still talking about whatever it is that's coming to mind. We both moved into my kitchen. I start washing our plates off while he's takes a seat. I lift my head up from the sink for a minute and I look him up and down. Something's off.

"Are you okay, Kyle? You're acting jittery," I stare at him as he's sitting at the counter. He's shaking his leg and that's weird because that's supposed to be my thing that I do whenever I'm nervous. What has him so nervous?

"I'm fine."

I just sighed and went back to arranging some things in my kitchen. We started talking about small things, like that new donut shop from across the street, whatever.

I started moving some plates while talking and he interrupted me, and it scared the hell out of me and I almost dropped my plates.

"Send me back to California with a smile on my face."

"What do you mean?"

You chuckled and look down for a moment before looking me in the eyes again. "Be my girlfriend, Eleanor?"

"Is that really what had you so nervous? Kyle, there's no reason to be nervous, because I'd say yes to you every day."

"Sorry, it's just- Wait, did you just say yes?"

"Yes, I did."