To be alone (Kakashi Fanfiction)

one: the beginning

MY LEGS ARE burning and my heart is pumping. Almost there. I pull my leg back ready to kick the next clone. It poofs from existence as my foot comes to contact with it's side. My landing was shaky and I fall painfully on my side.

"Maybe that's enough, Raiden. She's tired," my mothers kind voice pleas with my father. The next clone that attacks me tells me that he disagrees. The clone goes to stomp on me but I roll away and throw a kunai that lodges deep in it's forehead before it disappears.

It's not enough. It's never enough. I work every day, I improve everyday, but it's not enough. I'm not strong enough. I couldn't hold my own against an army of two hundred powerful fighters. That's what my father would say. Some part of me doubts he could do that, but then again I've never seen him fight anyone. We've never really left the house, so who would we need to fight anyway?

After about another twenty clones, they finally stop. I collapse on the ground from exhaustion. My father simply nods and walks back into the house. I suppose that's the most approval I'll ever get from him. I manage to get up and drag my feet into the house with my concerned mother on my heels. She follows me all the way to my room, and I slump down on my bed.

"I'm fine," I say my voice slightly muffled from the bed. Mother enters my room closing the door quietly behind her.

"He can't do this to you." Her frown is etched deeply into her face. Yes, he can. I shrug. "You can't let him over work you like this."

"What do you want me to do? Tell him no?" She doesn't answer. She knows what that means. Neither of us want to face the wrath of my father. Sometimes I wonder why she ever married him.

"I put up with a lot. I let him train you, change you." She says the word change as if it's poison. I guess to her it sort of is.

The "trials" as he called it, changed my eyes which were once my mothers deep blue into a startling grey, but my hair remained my father's dark blue shade almost black. The trials made me stronger, better sighted, faster, heal faster, and so on. I'm not sure of the purpose of all this, my father says it's the only way to truly be strong. Though I'm still confused what I need to be strong for. I don't remember the trials so personally I don't mind the perks that come with it. My mother remembers them, or at least she says she remembers my screams.

He turned me into a monster, though my mom will never say that. Despite being so far away from society, I know I wouldn't be accepted with open arms.

"You can't put that on yourself. It doesn't bother me all that much." Mother sits next to me and brushes a piece of hair out of my face. Her eyes look so sad. I hate when she looks at me like that, I'm fine. Although, I don't really know what's it's like not to be.

"When I used to think about having a child, I never imagined this." I knew what she meant. She wanted a sweet child that never had to suffer. A child that she could protect from the evils of the world. A child that had a choice.

"Right, when you lived your happy life in the Tree Village."

"Leaf," Mother corrects me.

I used to live for the stories she told me of her life in the Leaf Village, but the older I got, the more they sounded like a fairy tale she told me to give me hope. I've only ever seen the inside of one village and it seemed nothing like how she describes her village. She said she was a fighter there once, but then she fell in love with my father and left.

Their relationship seems far from how the books describe love. When my father pushed she sat quietly, when she pushed, my father nearly killed her. How my sweet mother could fall in love with such a brutal man would be something I could never understand. Although, I suppose it's not for me to understand.

Love doesn't seem like something anyone would willingly throw themselves into.

"I wish you could have seen it." She smiles softly. I nod and bury my head into my pillow and let the feeling of exhaustion over take me. "Sleep well, Sunako."

THE SOUND OF my door hitting the wall wakes me from my deep sleep. I sit up trying to get my bearings. The house seems quieter than usual despite the pouring rain pounding against the roof.

"Where is she?" My fathers deep voice fills the room. 

I rub my eyes trying to figure out whats happening.

"Your mother. Where is she?" He asks again. The room lights up for a split second and then the sound of thunder shook the house.

"I don't know," I answer, my voice still groggy. I can see his body tense and I know something bad happened. He exits my room and I chase after him.

He pauses once he exits the house. The storm clouds have blocked out the moonlight so I can't see the look on his face. He turns his head to the left and then the right. I can barely see his face turn into a cynical smile as he storms off into the surrounding forest.

I follow behind silently, the heavy rain and thunder covering up the sounds of my footsteps. I keep trying to think of all the horrible things that could have happened, but the rain is too loud. I follow him through the woods for a few minutes, and I try to focus on the sounds around us. All I can hear is rain. I hope to warn my mother before she is forced to face the wrath of my father.

Through the roar of the rain, I somehow hear the quiet whispers of a secret meeting, but my father is checking something on the ground in front of me so he does not hear it. I silently follow the sound until I see my mother talking with another figure. This person is wearing a cloak and a mask that's shaped like a cat's face with red markings on it. The only thing that proves they're human is their long white hair.

"Is there anything you can do to protect her?" My mother whispers to The Cat. Her back is towards me, so I can barely make the outline of her face.

"I'll try, I only wish you have told us earlier." The Cat responds. My mother opens her mouth to respond, but she doesn't get the chance to speak.

"Told who what?" My fathers voice bellows through the clearing. I can see my mother freeze and I know then she's not supposed to be talking to The Cat.

In a flash my father is next to my mother and a kunai drives itself into The Cat's chest. My father throws mother over his shoulder and is gone in the blink of an eye. I stare at the wooden log that was once The Cat, then, I see him across the clearing with no sign of injury, but I leave before I can make the same mistake my mom made.

I run as fast as I can through the woods back to my house. I hear my mother screaming as I near my home. I run through the door, but I'm too late. I hear the door to my parents room slam. I think about trying to break it down, but I know it's too late. I hear my mother's quiet pleads, but her voice is cut off by a crack of thunder. Or perhaps, it wasn't the thunder at all.

I never saw my mother again