It kind of sucks that my ability to see how relationships ended was purely exclusive to just my relationships with other people. Imagine if I could instead see how someone else's relationships would end. I could literally be a relationship advisor and make some serious bucks when they see that my prophecy played out.
Oh, and of course, if I saw others' relationships ending instead of mine, maybe that would garner me some friends because I probably wouldn't have the fear of making a friend only to see how we were going to crash and burn.
Like, yeah, I'm used to it now, to a certain extent, but it still hurt.
And it got pretty lonely, I guess, to try and survive high school without a friend. Usually superheroes have best friends as sidekicks and sidekicks as best friends, but I didn't even have friends to pick a best one from, nor was I in need of sidekick because, guess what? You're not a superhero, Elle. Dream on.
I mean, there were... some people in my year who know me, like Jared (who would drift away from me over time, which was common but still painful), Emily (because she'd think I was seeing her boyfriend behind her back, which was like, come on, who would want to date me when they had someone as gorgeous as Emily?) and Arianna (who'd leave because I'm known to be the emo freak and she would want to try out for cheer captain, and I was kind of on bad terms with the cheer team for reasons that are a bit complicated).
But mostly, it was just me, Elizabeth, and my cloud of loneliness.
Until everything changed.
Yeah, I'm sure you already know the whole clichéd story by now: the ambiguous, interestingly vague him.
He was a transfer from Canada and he was tall and lanky and looking like he belonged in a million dollar magazine cover page with his caramel hair and curly eyelashes fanning over his rich chocolate eyes. He was a pretty boy, and I was fairly sure he knew it. But the fun part was that he wasn't cocky or a typical jock jerk (jock jerk. Jock jerk. Jock jerk. Try saying that five times in a row). He was kind, funny, smart and kind of near perfection.
It wasn't really a big surprise that I couldn't stop staring at him, for both the reasons a) look at him, he was just beautiful, and b) I just couldn't seem to figure out how we would end—and I was obsessed with knowing how everything ended.
See, on good days, when I stared hard enough at some people, I could see exactly how we would end, especially if the end was going to be devastating. For example, Adam. I had a crush on Adam the moment I saw him, and the moment I saw him, I was crushed. He would one day cheat on me because I would refuse to sleep with him. And also, the whole emo freak concept about me that would become more and more popularized if I had stayed Adam's girlfriend. Which, well, obviously never happened.
But, thing is, I never understood that. To be honest, I would think that I'm pretty optimistic—like, even online quizzes on Buzzfeed labelled me as an extrovert, really—but I guess the whole being-able-to-see-what-qualities-I-have-that-others-would-leave-me-for thing threw me off kilter and freaked me out, so I became a loner, which was often associated with being emo.
So, yeah, after honing my abilities over the years, I would say I've gotten good at just figuring out how people would leave me by just staring at them long enough or with the help of contact. But... Zachary was different. No matter how long I stared—which was extremely long—I just couldn't see it.
Like, sure, I knew that he would never end up with a person like me. But shoot he was so God damn beautiful with that grin of his and the fact that I couldn't see how we ended gave me hope.
What didn't give me hope, though, was the fact that he had never even looked at me or talked to me, but was regularly talking to a bunch of other girls in the five classes we share (English, Calculus, Music, Art and P.E.—which was extremely embarrassing because I was extremely unfit).
It was understandable, but you know, us humans, always fantasizing about how our crushes would one day look at us and think we're the most beautiful people ever. Even though I was obviously not.
I was absently tapping on my notebook which I had written down everyone's name and how they would leave me when my teacher snapped at me. "Elizabeth. Eyes up." She glared at me. "Stop making indecent eyes at Zachary over here and pay attention to class, hmm?"
The students in the classroom laughed and I probably turned bright red. I heard Zachary's small chuckle, easily distinguishable by the tenor of his voice, and I tried to make myself as small as I possibly can shrink up to.
I swallowed, my face heated and I stared at my notebook, where the words '115. Zachary Weston:' was scribbled and wrote down beside it, 'because I WOULD DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT BEFORE HE'D EVEN LOOK IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION'.
--
It didn't mean I would stop trying outside of Calculus though.
It was free period, and he was walking alone, which was rare, because he was super social and had tons of friends even though he was a transfer and everything. So I decided I would accidentally brush past him. Sometimes, contact helped.
So I did just that. However, being the idiot that I am, I miscalculated the distance I would have to be from him in order to just lightly brush past him and literally jabbed my side into his. He stumbled to the side and I yelped lightly, startled too by my own actions.
Idiot.
"What the—" He looked up from his phone as I blink, wide-eyed, swallowing. "Sorry." He just mumbled.
As he walked, eyes back onto his phone, I stared at his back.
Hate watching him leave, but damn, look at him go.
Oh, God, stop terrorizing him, have some decency, Ellie.
I sighed disappointedly and turned around, making my way towards the library, before realizing I still haven't figured out how we would end.
For the rest of my journey from the hallway to the library, I listed the possibilities in my brain. Maybe he was the one. My perfect match. Till death do us apart. Maybe after my long years of suffering alone, I would finally be rewarded with this beautiful man.
But judging from how gorgeous he is and how not that gorgeous I am, and the amount (or lack thereof) of attention he gives me, it's probably just because we would never have a beginning in the first place anyway.
Way to go, Ellie. You just ruined Wednesday and the rest of the week for yourself.
I sighed.
Sometimes, I wish I could trade my useless power for normalcy instead.
《author's note》
author coming right at ya again to tell you you can go read up to four chapters already at: http://penpee.com/story/your-end-in-mine-2/
Love,
kky_claud
《social media》
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YOU ARE READING
Your End in Mine
Teen FictionI have a curse. Every time I look at someone I have a connection or relationship with, I can see exactly how everything will fall apart between us. Except for him. I don't see anything with him. But maybe that's because there isn't even a beginni...
