A Singular Witness

Jealousy

"Toby?!"  Cass's voice startled him back into awareness.  She stood staring at the bunch of flowers she'd handed him a moment before, the petals now bruised and shredded where he absentmindedly had ground them in his fist.

Toby looked from the flowers to Cass, and she looked in the direction his attention had been focused before she called his name.  Quinn had just walked in with a young man Cass did not recognize, though she knew instinctively that Toby had registered the boy's identity.  Toby walked past Cass, dropping the flowers he held in the trash.

Ducking into the men's room, he sequestered himself in one of the stalls.  Sitting on the back of one of the toilets with his feet on the lid, he interlaced his fingers behind his collar, hanging his head between his knees.  His breathing felt forced, the air hot and unwelcome in lungs that labored against each breath.

After several moments his breathing slowed and his mind seemed to surface from a haze of homicidal sketches he had conjured of Daniel.  Toby knew Quinn had just lost her father, but he increasingly had the sense he was losing something too.

Steadying himself, he walked to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, patting it dry with a paper towel before leaving the restroom to rejoin the reception.  Hampton sat in a corner of the room near where Toby stood, deep in conversation with a thin aging man Toby had never seen before.  Toby saw Quinn, standing and talking with Cass now, and he walked over to where they stood.  When she saw him, Quinn wrapped her arms around his middle, hugging him tight, and he felt the world fall back in place.

"Toby, this is just too much for me to handle right now.  I have to get out of this town.  I got an acceptance letter from Live-Play for the summer internship I applied for, and decided today that I have to go."  Her voice shook as she looked around the room.

Toby also looked around the room, feeling a vague fury that blurred at the edges, but didn't locate his target among the faces that swam before him.

He was surprised at the hardness in his own voice as he asked,  "Where is Daniel?" 

"He left."  Quinn looked at him, puzzled.

"Who is going with you?"  Toby asked, his voice tight.

"What?  I don't know.  The letter I received just said I'd been accepted."  Her voice was still shaky.  "I have to get out of here.  I used to ask Hampton to read me stories when we were kids.  He could read before I could.  I asked him to read funny stories, or exciting ones, even scary stories.  Anything but a sad story.  It's like the way life was, even then I sensed I might end up a sad story, and I didn't want to hear it.  I don't want to spend the next few months being a sad story.  Today was enough."

"The service was just today, tomorrow it's over." 

"It isn't that simple."  Quinn's lip trembled.  She held his eyes for a long moment before asking quietly, "Why don't you want me to go?"

He hugged her.  "I just wish you'd stay."

She looked away.  "You know I'll come back."

Holding her, he rested his chin on her head, the smell of her hair filling his nose.  "That's not the same as staying."

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The last two weeks of school, Quinn moved through entire days feeling like she'd left her body.  She felt she was still directing her movements, but like she observed herself and the world she was moving in from some far off point.

Toby acted as if everything were normal between them, but there was rigidness in his efforts.  Quinn sensed his resentment, even if he tried not to show it, and felt resentful in turn.

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Toby knew Quinn was leaving for the Live-Play internship the morning after graduation.  Hampton wanted to see his sister off, and she'd agreed to let him drive her to the airport.  Toby had a key to Quinn's house so he could check on her dog Alvin.  She'd been worried Hampton would forget to feed the dog while she was away.  In the days leading up to graduation, Toby and Quinn spent as much time together as usual.  A distance though, had crept between them by degrees.  Quinn was so preoccupied with leaving that when he was with her, Toby frequently felt she was already gone.

The night of graduation, their class formed a sea of black caps, a rapt audience rising in the seats around them for the ceremony.  Quinn was graduating, but neither Toby or Cass could convince her to participate in the ceremony.  Toby sat in his cap and gown, sweating under the black polyester.  His focus faded from the booming call of names to the faint buzz of fluorescent lights overhead, and he found himself thinking of graduation as a funeral of sorts.  An entire childhood of school buses and bike rides, lunchrooms and lessons, would be put to rest.  Nowhere in the rows of tassels was the face he'd always searched for in the crowd.

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Clouds hung heavy in the sky the following morning, growing a darker shade of grey as their burden of moisture increased.  Toby got up early and drove to the airport.  He'd been up most of the night.  He remembered Quinn telling him how she felt like there were things they didn't say.  He wanted to tell her she was who he always looked for, that he had looked for her since the first time he saw her at the bus stop, and he'd always look for her.

By the time Toby turned on the highway, the rain started pounding down in sheets, clouding visibility.  He inched slowly forward, his lights glaring against a wall of water as he drove.  When the storm let up enough to come down as a hard rain, he was thankful to find he hadn't missed the exit for the airport.  Arriving at the airport, he parked in the hourly lot and headed up the escalator to the departure floor.  He wasn't sure what airline Quinn was flying, so he quickly scanned the check-in counters.

He took a deep breath, looking more slowly around the vast departure floor, and spotted Quinn standing in line at the security checkpoint.  He started walking in her direction, but stopped short as someone else reached her first.  Daniel had walked up to Quinn, and stood grinning widely, rolling a carry-on suitcase behind him.

When she saw Daniel, Quinn cocked her head in surprise.  From where he stood, Toby was out of their line of sight.

"What are you doing here?"  Quinn asked Daniel.

"Same thing as you."  He smiled, his eyes holding hers.

"You're here for the Live-Play internship?"  She asked slowly.

"My Dad said it would be a great resume builder, and you of all people know how ambitious I am." 

Quinn narrowed her eyes, "Is this a joke?"

"What?"  Daniel asked benignly.

"The internship.  Is it a joke?  If so, it really isn't funny."

"It's great to hear you have such a high opinion of your partner.  I may be a joke by my father's standards, but the internship is not.  I did have certain advantages in the selection process, but do not let that fool you into thinking this is going to be a vacation.  You will still have to run your ass off on behalf of this little prize piece of software my Dad's company is developing.  I just volunteered to run mine off as well."

"I didn't know you ran."

"Girl, I may not run from trouble, but in thirteen years of club soccer I have done some running."

Daniel continued smiling.  As they moved forward in the security line Toby fell back.  He began walking in the direction of the exit. 

Standing near the exit doors, he watched as Quinn approached the security checkpoint and handed her documents to the security officer.  Daniel said something and Quinn laughed.  Her laughter cut through Toby, though its sound did not reach him. 

As she moved past the checkpoint, Quinn looked back, her line of sight falling in the exact spot where Toby stood, watching her.  A look of surprise dawned on her face, and he saw her crane her neck to see.  Before she could be sure it was him, he turned and walked out into the rain.