Reckless & Clumsy

Part 14

You spin around and let your whole body fall into Noah's arms. He catches you, just the way the he's supposed to and you smile when you see Patrick smiling as well. He claps and you stand back on your own legs. "Well done", Patrick says. "But if you want it to be so good, that all the judges will remember it, it needs to be a lot more powerful and passionate. And we probably should change the choreography a little bit. More hip hop, not as neat as it is now. Not so classical.", he adds and immediately supposes some changes. You and Noah try some different versions until you finally find one that seems to be really good and you practise for another half an hour. After the training you go to the dressing room, exhausted and tired. You quickly change and and exit the room. Noah is waiting outside the studio. "Should I drive you

home again?", he asks nicely. "Uh.. you don't have to it's not dark yet", you say and start to walk. "Wait, *yn*", you hear him say and you turn around to see him looking straight into your eyes. "What?", you ask a little bit annoyed. You really want to go home and sleep. The next thing you know is that Noah's lips somehow ended up on yours and his hands somehow ended up around your waist. You can't really do anything, you just let it happen, ans honestly, you enjoy it a little bit. A teeny tiny little bit. No actually not only a teeny tiny little bit. You actually really like it. You slowly kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck. You feel him smiling into the kiss. He must have been thinking about doing that for a while... And he was really brave to actually do it. It could have been the end of your friendship. But it isn't. You slowly pull away and smile. "I... uhmm... I've been thinking a lot in the last couple of days..." he says shyly and looks down. "About us... I think... I think I kind of fell in love with you", he finally says and looks straight into your eyes. You shiver and smile. You can't say anything. You just can't. You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Noah still looks at you in confusion, waiting for you to say or do something. And since the talking doesn't really work at the moment, you decide to do something. So you just grab his face and kiss him again. He obviously takes that as a 'I want you too' and he happily kisses you back. He pulls away after a few seconds and takes your hand. "Was this a yes?", he asks and you try to speak again. "Yes", comes out of your mouth. Only soft and he wouldn't have heard it if his face wasn't right next to yours. And you don't even think about what you say. You know it was the right decision. You have to move on, it's been more than 1,5 years and not all men are hoes like HE was. Mabye he wasn't actually one. But this is the wrong moment to think about him. You have Noah in your life now. And he's nice, a really good dancer, not a half century older than you and he definitely won't leave you for some models. You inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. You're about to go into the performing room with Noah. The judges seem to be quite strict. First you have to show your duet and after that, you're going to have to dance with others, a choreopraphy you will have to learn right then. Noah slowly wraps his arms around you from behind. "Don't be nervous",he whispers in your neck. "We have definitely rehearsed enough. We're gonna make it. I know it.", he adds and you smile and peck his lips. Then you are called to go into the performing room. It's a huge room with four judges on a table, all looking at their notes. "*yn* and Noah?", one of the judges ask. You two nod and the judge looks back at her note. "So, I know you all don't know what the audition is for, none of the dancers know what they get to do if they are good enough, but I just want to say, it's definitely worth it doing the best you can. We just don't want to tell you all because it would probably ruin some of the dances. So let's go! Start the dance!", another judge says and your mind is blown away. You didn't even know you were going to get something if you are good. You thought it was just another competition. Okay, calm down, you think and then get in your starting position and dance. Just the way you always danced since the latest competition, without thinking, just dancing. With Niah dancing with you, it was even easier. When you were done, the judges all took their notes and whispered a couple of things until signing you two to leave the room. All you can do is breathe. You're still exhausted from all the dancing, but that's not what keeps you away from moving your body in any other way than breathing. The young woman which had judged all of the people on the audition just had exitedly announced who the winner was. You were one of them. Noah was one of them. And five or six others. But that still isn't what keeps you from doing anything but just try to keep your body alive by breathing. Inhaling, exhaling. The only thing stopping your body to stop working completely is the tiny little corner of your brain, the little corner which you hate for existing, the part of you you'd tried to kill in the past few years. The little corner was highly exited about it, it was lucky about what the young judge just had told you. Why did this happen to you? How could this be possible? Out of eight billion people, the same thing happens to the same little girl twice? You're going to quit, you're not going to sign the paper Patrick has recieved. You're not doing that. The little corner of your brain protests and wants you to run all the way through the room and grab the sheet of paper Patrick is holding in his hands, it wants you to get a pencil from anywhere and sign that damn paper. But the corner is too small. The rest of your body is kind of dead, in shock. Not able to do anything but thinking 'no'. You're not going to do that. You're not going to do the same thing to you again. You're not going to dance on stage. False. You are going to dance on stage. But not for Justin Drew Bieber. You're not going to be a background dancer of Justin Bieber. And this the moment when the rest of your body is so dead, that the little corner of your brain is stronger than the rest and you feel your legs walking towards Patrick, grabbing the pencil out of Noah's hand which had just signed, and signing the paper. You are. All the 'no' s were wrong. You are going to be a background dancer of Justin Drew Bieber. Even if only 0.001% of you want it. You are.