"Carl's Home!"

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.Carl.

I went and got shitty drunk, because it was the only thing that made sense.

I snuck into the house after dark, and I tossed and turned in my old bed that night.

I hadn't wanted to leave, but I didn't put up a fight, either. If she wanted space, I would try to honor at least one of her requests.

She was upset with me. I understood why. I was being insensitive and unfair to her.

But I also thought I was being reasonable. There have to be other people who struggle with this decision! I wanted so badly for this to be a black and white issue, but it wasn't. It was fucking hard, and my feelings about it just caused a serious rift in my relationship.

She had my baby inside of her. That blew my fucking mind. It also crushed me, because now nothing was the same. She thought keeping it would ruin our lives. I knew it would change our lives, but I thought we could handle it if we did it together. Anything in life was better with her.

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, but my dreams were no solace.

.....

.Layla.

He looked so dejected and resigned when I'd asked him to go. I was angry then, but lying in bed hours later, I was lonely and afraid. I hated that he wasn't there next to me. I needed him. But I needed him to support me, too.

Having a baby wasn't just a romantic, perfect thing like Carl seemed to think it was. At our age, it was stigmatic and difficult. I had so much left I wanted to do. I was going to graduate from college and move on to my masters. I was going to travel more. And I was going to continue to enjoy the thrilling, passionate relationship I had with my boyfriend.

What would happen to all of that? If the baby came in May, when scheduled, I would be able to finish my sophomore year (albeit big as a whale), but what about my junior and senior? It would be hard to travel when pregnant, and even harder with a baby. How would Carl still find me sexy as my body got bigger and my stretch marks multiplied? And then, after giving birth, how would he deal with my "tight little pussy" being a stretched out mess that he couldn't fuck for weeks?

I grabbed the other pillow- his pillow- and slammed it over my face. I gripped it and screamed into it.

.....

.Carl.

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and had forgotten where I was. When I realized where I was, I instantly remembered why I was there too. I lay in bed for awhile, my thoughts swirling again.

"Carl!" came Liam's little voice from the top bunk.

"Hey little man," I replied hoarsely.

Liam climbed down and came over to give me a hug before he looked around. "Where's Sunny?"

I sighed. "She's at Layla's apartment. I'll get her today, okay?"

He nodded before swinging the door open and running down the hall shouting, "Carl's home, Carl's home!"

"God damnit," I muttered as I threw a pillow over my head.

"Carl?" I heard Fiona's voice in the hallway. "Carl!" Now she was in my room. "What are you doing home? Is everything okay?"

"Did he mess something up with Layla?" came Debbie's angry voice. "Carl, I swear to God..."

I rolled my eyes and then squinted them as someone yanked the pillow from my head. "Hey what the fuck?"

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