They call it a blessing
To see the sun, to feel light, to breathe
They call it mercy to sing and have joy and live life over and over again.
He blames me that I can't see past my nose and I do not disagree
This is one of those poems
The one where I let you inside of me
The one where you will see darkness and maybe
You will understand it, love it, hate it, understand it, pity it
I'm not sure what this is
I'm not sure what I need you to do
I can't remember much of anything
I do not know myself, or remember myself, or better yet, I do not know who I was and by that I mean, I do not know If I should compare myself to a before puberty me because back then
I was not this and can I even classify myself as anything but this?
Did I actually exists?
I did
But not in the state that I am now
Not like this
Not like all of this
This is different
This is a problem
This is crazy
This is a heart beating for a body it does not belong to
Paradox
It is love and it is hate
It is color and it is blank
And by this I am referring to this body
I am a mixture of things I do not-
Have not yet come to understand
I do not understand it
It ranges on a scale of 1 to a Million Things
Dictated by emotions
This ship will sink
For sometimes I am rowing, floating
And other times I am drilling holes
Just to sink
Just for the waves to stop crashing in
Sometimes everything gets so foggy
But not dark
I can, I could see the lighthouse
But I cannot make it to shore
I cannot float
I cannot paddle
And I'm drifting
So far but I'm seeing the light
Sometimes my tongue gets so heavy
My mind goes numb, it goes blank
And I sit counting reasons to die
Sometimes I close my eyes
And it's like I can see death
I feel my end - thick mist drowning me
I see Empty
And I feel empty
And no one can help me because this Empty is locked up inside me
Sometimes this empty gets so big that it swallows me and everything I love and the light - it's still there
Flickering among the Hollow of my bones.
- Rebecca Wave
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
Sunset Everywhere
PoetryIt is the beginning of a new Phase A step forward into life Above the void it was before Newness and the Death of a child Rebirth of a woman that has not fully learned But is willing to teach and to show all Every color of the wind
