Because I'm Broken

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"Get up fuckface," were the first words I had heard after the vivid dream. But it was too vivid, too real to have ever been just a dream. This was a way too familiar scene to have ever been more than just that, a familiar scene. I heard his sister's knocking once again, this time a little louder and a little faster. The moments after that played out exactly as they had once before, with Larry and Cynthia fighting once again over my heightened state, but I couldn't quite place the day. It had been at least a few months before my dream had taken place. I still decided to go to school, though I was sure Evan wouldn't know me. My string had disappeared as soon as I had repeated the same chain of events as they had presented themselves in this do-over of a day, one that was too familiar for comfort. I found refuge from the unforgiving highschool hallway in the Computer Lab, a room where I was almost certain I'd find Alana, though I wasn't really sure why. For the first time today, however, my hunch was wrong. I found a nervous Evan Hansen, sitting at a computer, typing up something furiously. I went over to him, trying to start a conversation.
"Hey, Hansen," I looked down at his letter as he jumped in fear. "Whatcha typing?"
"Oh, uh, t-this? I-it's n-nothing, just a l-letter I write to m-m-myself everyday. S-some sort of s-s-self confidence boosting t-thing, is all." He paused to take a good look at me. "Who are y-you again?"

I felt crushed. Absolutely demolished in every way. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know Connor Murphy, because it was all a dream. I continued, trying to pretend as if I wasn't taken aback by the whole thing.
"Connor. Connor Murphy, that is."
"O-Oh! Okay." He seemed to light up a bit, as if I had recalled an old children's book he had forgotten for awhile. He settled back down, and asked me.
"Y-Yeah! I think I kn-know you. Or, you a-appeared in one of my d-dreams awhile ago. Peculiar, I thought to myself. I then proceeded to ask him,
"Really? What was it about?"
I must of looked a little defensive, as his eyes darted down.
"W-well, it's, r-really strange. W-We were s-soulmates? We m-met through an a-app. It was, n-nice, you were n-nice."
That's absolutely crazy. He had he same dream I did? I realized that there was no way this could have been a dream, as everything today was too coincidental.
"That's so weird, because I had the same dream." In the corner of my eye, I saw the red string reappear. It connected me to Evan, again.
"D-do you see I-it? The string is b-back again. I-I think the dream wasn't really a d-dream." He smiled at me, almost completely losing the nervous facade. That's my Ev, I quietly thought to myself.
"Hold up, this can't be a 'just us' thing. This has to of happened to someone else before. Can I see the computer?" I gestured to the keyboard.
"Sure thing!" The stutter was gone. I moved over to the computer to research.
'My soulmate and I had a strange dream and I woke up the day before we met. what does it mean?'
'Woke up the morning before my soulmate and I met? Help?'
'I'm reliving the same day?'
With the last search, we finally got an answer. The website looked very back-alley. It read;
TIME SKIPS
Time skips are when a certain chain of events that were never meant to occur, do. This causes the same day, week, or month to be relived over and over until the chain of events is broken. This can happen by the death of someone who died prematurely, two people meeting that weren't ever meant to meet, or the birth of someone who shouldn't exist. If you can figure out what caused the time skip and what resets it, only then can you stop it.

"Wow," I said, after the first few minutes of stunned silence. "So we weren't supposed to meet?"
"I-I mean, that would e-explain why we both d-didn't have strings until we both came in contact with the o-other." Evan looked up to smile at me, and my heart fluttered a bit. I steered my head back on track, trying to figure out a solution to our very prominent problem.
"Okay. Let's think back to how we met and where we would be if we hadn't met the other. For starters, I would be dead had I not met you."
"W-What do y-you mean?" Evan stuttered out a little bit worried.
"I was planning to kill myself today, but I met you and thought twice about it. Anyways, that might be why. I wouldn't have met you because I would have been dead." I thought back to the passage, saying how the only way to fix the time skip was to right the wrongs and carry out what had been planned originally. "This means that in order for time to continue the way it should, we should have never met and I wind up committing suicide."

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 10, 2017 ⏰

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