The 1st Floor(Extremely SHORT Story)

What Are We?

"What are we? Where is this going?" I became one of those girls after the fourth time James and I had sex. I couldn't believe it myself. I was asking this dumb question when I already knew the answer.

He looked at me for a long time with a small smile.

"Look Danielle, I don't do relationships. I'm also not sleeping with everything little thing on this campus. I saw you, a beautiful young lady, smart, we have conversation, and I love fucking you."  My mind had so many questions but they didn't come out.

"I mean I didn't expect this to happen" I said trying to gather what he had said.

"Of course this was going to happen and now once you start you wont be able to stop. You'll want more and I'll give you more" He said kissing me from my neck to my breast.

"So, friends with benefits?" I asked holding back the tear that would've started a mental break down. I refused to be seen as weak.

He nodded yes and we had sex for the fifth time. It was amazing of course , but in my mind I beat myself up. I gathered my things and left right after the sex. I went to my room and showered before dinner. How stupid could I be to think he actually liked me?

He became an addiction and I was the abuser of his drug. I knew it wasnt good for me but I kept going because I needed to learn about sex and be more experienced. That was the dumb excuse I told myself everytime after sex . My confidence began to go through the roof, but my self worth went down.

I told myself I wouldn't limit myself to James because there are other guys who want to have sex with me. I sound really stupid noe that I look back on it. I began searching and I met a couple of guys. One of the guys in particular I enjoyed meeting because he was different from the others. A mysterious type of guy, but he had friends who adored him for his quite behavior. We laughed, joked, and just casually hung out, but he wasn't interested. I was upset because I didn't just want to have sex with him, but I wanted to like him, but of course that didnt go as planned. When does anything goes as planned in my life?

Another guy name Calvin came around. He was older and didn't attend my school. We went on a simple date,we kissed, we even smoked. His kisses were different from James. He could actually kiss, and he made me believe every kiss. He made me feel worthy. I was so broken and he was slowly helping me build. I was happier but that didn't last long.

Like any addict, I got the urge. The urge to see James. I knew I wasn't wanted by James that way but he was the first guy to pay attention to me. After our date, Calvin left and I headed for the first floor, and knocked on his door. He grabbed me, pulled me in and we kissed for a long time, he pulled my clothes off and threw me on the bed, like every other time, but this time was different.

"What are we doing James?" I questioned after he finished rubbing his tongue against my nipples. He flipped me over and made me prop up like a dog.

"Trust me okay" like a dumbass I reluctantly said okay.

He was trying to make me do doggystyle. He couldn't put it in and began to get frustrated.  I tried to arch and move a certain way to help him and he finally go it. I gasped for air. It was painful, but he pressed against me and went deeper. I gripped onto the bed and closed my eyes. I came over and over again and began to cry. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I had changed. Calvin liked me and here I was sleeping with James after our first date. What was I becoming? What was he doing to me? He thought I was moaning, but the tears silently fell down my face with each stroke. I had a problem. After we sat there for a moment, I got up and began to get dressed.

"Hey you don't want to stay the night?" He asked, but I plastered a smile on my face and told him no.

After that night, days went by and we didn't talk. Just subtle "hi's" and "hello's". I tried to focus on Calvin until that ended, and it was a cruel ending. I did deserve it, but after that night of the date I told myself I would focus on the good relationship. I got so involved with Calvin so I could block out James, and  feelings actually began to arise right before he hurt me.

"Dani, would you stop your whining. You are beautiful and it was his loss." Shayla said rubbing my back.

"Yea fuck him. Told you boys aint shit except when you need dick" Liza said agreeing with Shayla. They had been there through the whole down fall and James.

"Why dont you go back to James?" Liza asked while combing her hair.

"I can't. We havent spoke in weeks. I want something different you know." I started stating every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't go back to sleeping with James. It was bad, and I knew it. They just didn't understand. The want and need for sex from him grew and clouded everything in my mind. I couldn't relapse.

*A Week Goes By*

Milk Dud 💙 
Dani are we good?

Milk Dud 💙 
Wanna come down tonight?

Milk Dud 💙 
Lemme know if you're coming the door is unlocked.

He texted me but I ignored and always replied that I was busy. I had to start worrying about school again because I had got so caught up in my social life and my grades were struggling.

My grades weren't so well, but I got them back up in about a week and everything was fine again. In fact, the girls and I decided to go to the upperclassman party and the school party to celebrate my passing grades.  I was feeling great in my tight black dress that hugged my body and made everyone stop and stare. We had a great time and for a moment I forgot all of the shit I was going through.

"Dani, I'll be right back and we will head down to the after party." Liza said before heading upstairs to her room. Then as I sat there James came through the door with a Chinese bag and his phone in his hand.

"Hey."

"Hey." I replied back and we stared at each other for a minute he moved towards me and then walked away. I stood up ready to follow him to his room when Liza came back with Shayla.  They dragged me out the hall and we started to head to the party and I kept turning around hoping he would come back out but of course he didn't. When we got to the party I got a text.

Milk Dud 💙
You look good. Very sexy, have fun at your party Dani.

Dani 👅👅
Wow thank you so much. 😁

Milk Dud 💙
Try and stop by after the party

And just liked that I relapsed. The question what are we? Became who am I?