Being his UNWANTED wife (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4

Malapit na maging dalawang taon

One and a half year

Hanggang ngayon,  my feelings for him didn't fade away even just a little inch.

Ang dali ng panahon pero hanggang ngayon nasasaktan parin ako.

Hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako na baka kahit konti ay mahalin niya ako pabalik.

Napakasariwa pa sa aking isipan ang nangyari, lahat ng salita na kanyang binigkas ay tandang tanda ko pa.

Bawat pagtaboy niya at pinapamukha sa akin na hindi niya ako kayang tignan at mahalin pabalik. 

Para siyang diring-diri sa akin.  Hindi ko alam,  paano? Bakit?

I dont know where did I got my strength and guts just to comfort him eventhough I know that he will just push me away.

I don't care if napaka desperada ko tignan at parang pinipilit ko ang sarili ko sa taong hindi naman ako gusto.

"Dan? I know I dont have the rights to do this or tell you this but your girlfriend is cheating on you!  And I just can't stand to be silent just because I don't have the rights to say so. Will you please open your eyes and see what your girlfriend is doing?!  Don't be too blinded by your love for her. Please,  I'm begging you"

Call me desperate and I dont care if I intrude to their problem but I just can't

I just can't  bear to see the one I love being cheated on.  I know I dont have any place in his heart but atleast I tried.

I tried

But I will never be her.

Tinignan niya ako diretsa sa mata ko na siyang kinagulat ko. Pain and Anger were visible in his eyes that makes me shiver.

" What are you fvcking doing here?! Can you just, CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?! Get lost!"

Wala na akong pake sa galit na pinupukol niya sa akin. Di ko na kayang manatiling tahimik. 

Whatever it takes,  I will confess my undying love for the man I love. 

I will fight for him eventhough it will shatter me into pieces.

"No" matabang kong sinabi

"I will never leave by your side. You know that I will always be here for you right? I am not your girlfriend na lagi ka nalang sinasaktan at linoloko ka. Napakadesperada ko ba?  Oo,  because I love - -"

" FUCKING LOVE?!  WHAT THE HELL!! YOU'RE THE LEAST PERSON THAT I WILL EXPECT YOU TO LOVE ME.  I NEVER TOLD YOU NA MAHALIN MO AKO DAHIL SIMULAT SAPUL IKAW LANG ANG NAGPUMILIT!  SABI KONG WAG NA WAG KANG LUMAPIT SA AKIN, PUNYETA KA! " namumula siya sa galit

tsk

I did a wrong move again!

"AND ONE THING,  DON'T YOU EVERY INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE SHE IS NOT LIKE YOU! SHE WILL NEVER BE LIKE YOU.  WAG NA WAG MONG IPAGPILITAN ANG SARILI MO SA AKIN DAHIL HINDING HINDI KITA MAGUGUSTUHAN BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A DESPERATE BITCH! "

Alam ko

Alam kong napaka desperada ko na tignan pero wala na akong pake

Mas nangingibabaw ang pagseselos ko kahit masakit ang sinasabi niya

" ANO NGA BA AKO SAYO? HA?! BASURA LANG BA AKO? NANDITO AKO OH! DI KITA IIWANAN TSKA SASAKTAN DAHIL MAHAL KITA. MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA PERO BAKIT GANON HINDI MO AKO KAYANG MAHALIN PABALIK?!  MAHALIN MO NAMAN AKO KAHIT KONTI. KAHIT SAKTAN MO PA AKO BASTA MAHALIN MO LANG AKO.  AKO NALANG PLEASE"

Nanlisik ang kanyang mga mata habang sinasabi ko ang mga katagang iyon.

" Well for your info I TOLD YOU DONT INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE SHES NOT A BITCH LIKE YOU! AND YES, YOURE JUST A TRASH FOR ME! AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS THAT I WONT EVER LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE USELESS PATHETIC GIRL AND TRYING TO GET ATTENTION FROM OTHERS ! SO GET LOST I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE! GO TO HELL!" then he walks away

I'm  done

Di ko na kaya sa mga pinagsasabi niya. 

Ayoko na!

I cant endure it anymore he's not worth of my tears! I hate him! I wont love You anymore because youre an asshole a piece of shit this love sucks!