Bring it Back

The Pain

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life, tell me how's your family?I haven't seen them in a whileYou've been good, busier than everWe small talk, work and the weatherYour guard is up and I know why

I sent you a message, hoping that you still had the same number, hoping that you would take the time to read it.

I knew you hated me, I knew you wouldn't want to see my face ever again. However, I gathered all my guts and put my pride back in its case, all just so that I could see you again. Just so that I could tell you everything.

A smile made its way on my lips when I saw you crossing the street to meet me. It's like the old times but in reverse. You often waited for me back then. I imagined you texting me; asking when would I arrive and saying that you would wait no matter what.

I stared at you and you saw me. I kept my smile, but you didn't smile back. There was no single trace of humor on your face. It was stoic.

Tears started to accumulate, but I blinked them away. I didn't want you to see me cry. Not when I finally could see you.

You walked swiftly towards me just like you always do and sat on the chair across mine.

Stoic.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey." You said coldly. At that instance, I felt as if someone just stabbed me. I felt responsible. I wanted to reach out and touch you, but fear covered me. I was scared. I didn't want you to push me away. No. Not before I told you what I wanted to say.

I knew I've got to say something, so I opened my mouth and said, "I never thought that you would actually come. Thank you." I thought that it was the best thing to say, but I guessed not.

"There wouldn't be a next time." I bit back a sob at your response.

Sorry.

"Oh yeah. Uhm. How are you and your sister? It's been quite a while."

"We've been good." Your face was still stoic.

Sorry.

"Do you want to order something?" I asked so that I could still have your attention.

"No. I won't stay for too long." I half expected that response, but still hurt like hell.

I've got no words to say. I looked outside and stared at the dark clouds.

"Do you have an umbrella with you? I think it might rain soon."

"Why do you care? It's none of your business after all. Just say what you want to say. I want to leave."

Sorry.

"You must be busy," I said. Though, I knew that you clearly didn't want to see me.

"Spit it out."

I knew you would ask me this. I thought I was prepared. I thought I could say it easily.

I looked down and stared right back at you. Your golden eyes were cold. They were so different from those warm and delicate looks That I got used to.

I knew exactly what to say, but I just couldn't say it.

Your glare started to become sharper. Panic grew inside of me. I knew you would leave if I didn't say anything. I searched for words to say and all I could say was your name.

"Zoro."

I thought I could finally stop you from leaving, but your eyes showed me the opposite effect of your name against my tongue. You grew even more agitated.

Sorry.

"Stop wasting my time if you've got nothing to say." You stood up and turned to leave, but then I called you again.

You turned to look at me again. I knew you were about to explode. I was prepared for it, but you didn't.

You waited for me to open my mouth and talk. I took a deep breath and said the only thing I really wanted to say.

"Sorry."

"Is that all you wanted to say?" The tone of your voice became stiffer. It's like you're stopping yourself from shouting. I knew you wanted to just flip out and storm out of this damn cafe.

"Yes. I mean, no."