Ashton leaves for a few days and Luke feels like his whole world is collapsing in front of him.
the title's based off a little mix song but it doesn't really have anything to do with the fic
anyway this is just, like, word vomit
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Luke doesn't realize how lucky he got with Ashton until he wakes up one morning and Ashton isn't there. The human definition of walking sunshine isn't there to light up Luke's life and that dampens Luke's mood quite a bit.
It shouldn't have been a shock, really. Luke knew that Ashton was leaving for a few weeks to be with family and he knows that Ashton's coming back. But it still hits Luke hard, waking up that cold Friday morning in a bed meant for two when he's the only one in it.
It's not the end of the world. It's two weeks, for God's sake. Luke can make it two weeks without Ashton. He'd spent fifteen years of his life without Ashton; of course he can make it two weeks. Of course.
The problem is that everything feels wrong without Ashton there. Making breakfast feels wrong. Watching a movie by himself feels wrong. Even showering feels wrong, and since when did taking a shower become a two-person job?
Band practices with Calum and Michael are pretty shitty because, well, the drummer's missing. They get off-beat countless times and it's a little frustrating, but they do what they can.
One day goes by, then two and three, and Luke likes to think he's doing a pretty good job of coping. Luke checks his phone fifty times a day in hopes of receiving a text or call or anything, only to be slightly let-down each time. It's stupid. Ashton told Luke he wouldn't have cell service, but a voice in the back of Luke's mind still forces him to hope for the impossible.
The first week goes by painfully slow and the house he shares with Ashton feels pretty much dead. It's quiet and boring and, wow, Ashton really was the life of party, wasn't he?
Calum and Michael both know that Luke is sad and they make a prominent effort to change that. One night Calum shows up to Luke's house with a bouquet of flowers in hand and he cuddles Luke for a few hours while they watch Seinfeld re-runs. Calum thinks he's doing a good job because Luke's actually smiling for once, but what he doesn't realize is that it's the most forced smile Luke has ever had to fake.
Michael shows up the next day with a box of chocolates—probably Calum's idea also—and they play FIFA for an hour and Luke smiles again. But it's the same dull smile he'd plastered on yesterday with Calum. It's a valiant effort by the two of them, and Luke is undeniably grateful that they're trying, but it's not working, and he doesn't say anything.
Halfway through the second week, Luke begins counting down the days until Ashton comes back, and that's when he truly realizes just how pathetic he is. Luke isn't supposed to be this sad about his boyfriend leaving, and he's annoyed at himself because he's acting like a hormonal teenage girl. Especially when he pulls a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and scoops it out in front of the TV— that's an all-time low for him.
Luke texts old friends and he texts new ones; he texts nearly everyone in his phone except for Ashton, simply because he has nothing better to do. He goes on the internet and watches old viral videos for an hour. He actually goes on a cleaning spree throughout the house until every object and every surface is spotless. Luke wears Ashton's clothes and he knows it's corny. But it's the closest thing he has to Ashton right now and his hoodie's really soft so Luke doesn't even hesitate before slipping it on.
The days are plain and boring and Luke feels so utterly lame. Every ticking minute feels like an hour and he could almost swear that time's slowing down.
So when Luke wakes up on Friday and realizes that the two weeks are over, he almost trips over his lanky legs after leaping out of bed. He eats a nice, well-balanced breakfast, and he spends half an hour fixing his hair and his clothes and thank God no one's around to see that because it's really embarrassing.
Noon. Ashton said he would be back around noon. Luke has a lot of time to kill, so he sits on the couch and turns on the TV even though he's not actually watching it because he's too busy checking the driveway every three seconds, waiting for a car to pull in. He's not even sure what channel the TV's on; it's some soap opera, he thinks.
Finally it hits noon and Luke's stomach does a back-flip because, where the hell is Ashton?
One minutes goes by and Luke can feel his heart racing with anxiety. The second minute goes by and then there's a knock at the door and Luke almost falls over the coffee table as he goes to answer.
His shaky hands quickly unlock the door and he takes a deep breath before cracking it open. This is it. This is the moment Luke's been waiting for.
Standing at the door is a flustered Ashton Irwin who flashes the cutest little smile Luke's ever seen and his heart just melts.
"Sorry I was a little late, the traffic was—"
Luke doesn't care. He pulls Ashton into the tightest hug and he never, ever wants to let go. They stand there hugging in silence for a few minutes and Luke breathes in Ashton's scent because, finally, Ashton's home. All those long, empty days of waiting were all worth it.
"Ash, you have a key, you know?" Luke finally whispers, still holding onto Ashton.
"I know," Ashton says. "Just thought I'd knock because I didn't want to kill the moment." It's a miracle Luke doesn't pass out right there.
Now that Ashton's back, Luke's not even sure where to start. They cuddle on the couch and they kiss and hug and hold hands but nothing feels like enough.
Luke feels like a fucking poet when he rambles on about how much he missed Ashton, and the older boy just laughs and pulls him closer.
That night when they're asleep in bed, Luke soaks in Ashton's warmth. He embraces the feeling of Ashton's touch and silently thanks the world because he doesn't have to sleep alone anymore. He doesn't have to wake up cold and he can finally feel alive. He wants to remember this forever. He never wants to forget what it feels like to fall asleep next to the one person that can make him smile no matter what. So he memorizes the moment and he promises to cherish it forever, because he never truly realized just how lucky he got until Ashton wasn't there.
