Instantly

First Morning

Lena scooted up, looming over Stef, wanting desperately to see her sleeping face. Stef's hair was disheveled. She was so beautiful and so vulnerable, sleeping so innocently. Lena hadn't quite seen Stef so serene. Gone was the insecurity of her day to day life and the bravado she found in her uniform. She was just Stef, the woman. With no makeup on Stef's face, Lena decided that this morning her beloved was perfect.

It wasn't long before Stef stirred, perhaps sensing the attentive figure above her. She was momentarily disoriented, but quickly remembered how her life had changed overnight. She had made love to a woman. Part of her felt as if she should feel different, but she didn't. She felt more like herself than she ever had. And something else, she was happy. "Good morning," Stef whispered, making Lena aware that she was awake.

Lena felt a little anxious now that Stef was awake, wondering if regret had set in at some point during the night. "Good morning," she replied, hoping the greeting was a good sign.

Stef could hear the doubt in Lena's voice and started to turn in Lena's arms to give her a kiss when she remembered she probably had morning breath. Stef quickly backtracked and started to get up, confusing an already insecure Lena.

"Stef?" Lena pleaded in panic.

Stef turned back, realizing how this looked. "I am sorry Lena." Stef slowed down realizing how silly this looked. She was naked, sitting on Lena's bed, but she was still worried about giving a bad impression. She inhaled deeply. "Bad breath," she finally spoke, not sure how to proceed.

Lena smiled, "I don't care, Stef!"

Stef shook her head, unwilling to believe that. She raised her eyebrow, "Really? Lena? Everyone minds, they just don't say it."

"Do you mind mine?" Lena thought she'd try a different tactic.

"What? NO," Stef was quick to reply. There was nothing about Lena that she couldn't love. She didn't expect her to be perfect either. She'd been around her enough to know that Lena was human.

Lena, took Stef's hand, "Please trust me when I say I don't mind. Not right now. I don't want to let you go and I need your kiss more than anything in the world. This is the best waking up experience of my life, stay. Please."

Stef fought the urges in her body against the ingrained shame she'd always felt about her body.

Lena begged again, "Please, please," and finally one whispered, "Please?"

Unable to resist, Stef realized she needed to kiss Lena too. And the second she really looked at Lena, now fully awake, she was able to take her hair, messier than she'd ever seen it. Lena was naked, without a care in the world. In the light of day, she glowed like a goddess. Stef was sure she'd never seen anything so beautiful. And she felt her body shake, desire crashing against her like a wave. Stef knew her reluctance was futile. And why should she pretend she could deny Lena anything? After finally giving in, after finally accepting what Lena fully meant to her, Stef was beginning to realize that Lena could get whatever she wanted. Luckily, at this point, what she wanted was the very same thing Stef wanted.

They met in the middle, both sensing the energy had shifted. They couldn't get enough. Stef hadn't ever felt this strong desire for sex, had never felt so out of control. Lena knew that relationships were very sexual at the onset. Yet, this felt different. Lena felt connected in ways that involved more than her body.

As a teenager, Lena had felt the flush of young love and imagined that this is what true love felt like. She had known for a fact that no one ever had felt such love or the consequential heartache. She was convinced she'd never love another. Over time, Lena had realized that you could find love again. She'd grown to disdain the idea of true love. There were many people you could be capable of loving. And she'd believed that right up until she'd fallen in love with Stef. It wasn't appropriate to compare lovers or the intensity of love. And she hadn't meant to, but one day Lena woke up knowing that her feelings for Stef were beyond anything she'd felt before. This felt unique. Despite Stef's denial and Lena's own fears, Lena knew that they both felt the same about each other and perhaps that's what made it unique. They were both in this together and after last night, Lena knew they were both on the exact same page. The intensity of their love, their mutual respect, and their desire to please were all the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together. Lena knew she could trust Stef and that Stef could count on her. In this moment, with Stef in her arms, Lena vowed to protect it. She made a silent commitment to Stef and to their union. She'd fight for it, with everything in her. She'd keep them focused on each other, reminding them of what they could be. She'd fight through her fear and even her expectations to be with this woman.