The Girl In The Night

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

By the time I start school, I'm gaining interest at the club. I even have regulars. I've been doing private dances and full performances on stage. My first full routine was unnerving. I downed a double whiskey and put on a brave face. I can be stubborn when I want to be and that's what I did. I've become a bit of a favorite and they call me Annie Oakley. They tell the clients I'm a southerner and I have the sweet, southern charm. They tell them I ride horses, which usually gets an extra whoop and holler.

I thought I'd be nervous starting school, but I'm not. I guess after working at the club, most things aren't nearly quite as disconcerting. My schedule is pretty full on. I have classes that start at 9am three mornings a week and two mornings that start at 10am. I finish at 4pm most days, but I do have a late day, which ends at 6pm. I discuss my schedule with Roxy and she says I can start work at 7pm on my early days and at 10pm on my late day. I'll get the weekends to sleep in so I'm pretty sure I can manage it all if I strictly stick to a routine.

I don't really have time to make friends in school because I'm usually either rushing to my next class or rushing to get to work. My schedule is pretty full on and my first semester is gruelling. Trying to find a workable routine is quite a task and it takes me almost the full semester to settle into everything.

I talk to my parents most nights at first, but then I get so busy that I miss most of their calls. When my dad is in from the barn at night, I'm already working at the club. By the time I get home, he's just starting his day so our conversations usually happen at the weekends.

I struggle with the lack of sleep and I drink far more than I probably should. It's taking more and more alcohol to make me actually feel drunk and stop the aching in my chest from loneliness. The only time I don't feel that pain is when I'm on stage or performing private dances. Whenever I'm alone, the guilt creeps up on me and I think about what my family would think about my current lifestyle. Some days I manage to get through and hardly think about it, but other days it's all I can think about. The weekends are torture for me, so I ask Roxy if I can take extra shifts at work. Anything to help push my thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind.

Caleb still won't talk to me, although the slamming doors have stopped when he knows I'm talking to our folks. Maybe in another three months he might actually be able to say hi.

It's nearing Christmas break when I'm standing backstage waiting for my turn. I sigh deeply and close my eyes briefly. Sherri questions, "Tired hun?"

"Yes ma'am. It's pretty hard jugglin' school and work. Some nights I don't even sleep because I have to catch up with readin' and papers. I can't wait for a break in the schedule."

"You thought of cutting back on your shifts?"

I smile softly at her, "I need the money. Besides, this is my favorite part."

She chuckles, "We can tell. You're pretty good at it. I'd say you are a natural. I've got a little something to help perk you up if you want to try it. It's a stimulant drug they give to treat narcolepsy. It should get you through the days at school."

My eyes light up at the thought, "Really? That would be a great help."

"Come see me after shift and I'll sort you out."

"Thanks."

So, I try the drug and the effects are amazing. I can get through days at school super alert and I'm just starting to feel the effects wear off after my shift is ending. I crash for a few hours and then take some more pills before going back to school the next morning. I find myself wanting the pills even when I'm not going to school because they give me extra energy. I can whizz through my cleaning, workouts and get to work feeling ready for a full shift.