imagines 》shameless [2]

mickey ; a year

[requested]

     He never would admit it. He never dared to show a glimpse of it, either. It would be considered a miracle if he breathed a word about it. He was too afriad. It's been almost a year since Mickey and you started . . . whatever this was. You knew it was love; deep down. But, you knew Mickey would never see it as that. A part of you saw no future with him. Another part said to give him a chance. But, it was almost getting unbearble. The absence of a feeling anything was becoming harder to keep up with. He was either going to admit it, or let you go. It was as simple as that.

     Approaching his house, a sickening feeling came upon you. You wondered if this was a good idea. It wasn't, of course, but you needed to do it. For once, you were going to do something for yourself. You knocked on the door.

     "Jesus Christ! Does nobody use a fucking phone anymore?" You heard his annoyed tone coming from inside. He opened the door, and you thought you'd seen a small smile come on his lips just by you being there. But, you decided that it was only a hopeful hallucination; finding any way to stop yourself from this. "Yeah?" He asked, as if he's never seen your face before. You let out a small sigh before speaking.

     "You need to admit it." You stated simply, earning a look of confusion from him. He knew exactly what you were talking about, but he was stalling. "Just this once."

     "This isn't a good time." He said, almost gently. The sounds of Terry complaining in the worst tone possible erupted from the background.

     "Just say it. This one time - please." You craved the feeling of having someone that wasn't afraid to love. Someone that wasn't too afraid to admit it, either. He looked at you defeatedly, as you held back tears, saving them for later. "Say that you love me." You choked slightly, sounding rather desperate. You anxiously waited for a response from him. He seemed hesitant, but not quite enough so.

     "You wouldn't understand." He stated, making you furrow your eyebrows in anger and confusion. After an entire year of feeling what he felt, and knowing everything he was going through just wasn't enough for him.

     "That's bullshit." You stated with a breath, hearing Terry yell again behind Mickey. You swallowed the lump in your throat as a single tear managed to tease your eyelash. He noticed this, and glanced behind him, for what, you weren't sure.

     "I don't." He stated, before backing away and shutting the door. He couldn't even look at you. He didn't even have the strength to say the word 'love'. He didn't say 'I don't love you'. He just didn't. That was enough to make the tears you tried, so desperately, to hold back, spill out. It took a moment or two before it all came onto you at once. A year wasted. A year torn to nothing. And you thought he'd never make you cry.