"Em, I fail to completely understand the concept of what you're wearing. Did i mention that it's going to be 40 degrees C today and that we're going to school?"Lizzy remarked, amused.
Unfazed by her comment, I continued to force myself into my attention seeking, yellow rain coat.
"I'm trying to make a statement." I announced proudly, grabbing my mullet wig and positioning it carefully on my head.
"If your statement was 'I'm a psycopath who eats rabbit droppings for breakfast, you should probably punch me in the face' well then I think you've nailed it."
I rolled my eyes at the obnoxious baboon of a bestfriend.
"Hmm that's close but i was leaning more towards 'individuality', anyways thanks for the support Liz!"
'Hakuna Matataaaaa!" She sang cheerily, swinging her butt about.
I cringed with disgust.
"Okay... I think i've established why we have no friends..."
My bedroom door swung open with a thud, unanimously in sync with a demonic clang of thunder.You know, one of those melodramatic ones in old horror movies when Count Dracula awakens form his evil slumber and his coffin door flies open? Except this time it wasnt some barbaric, blood hungry fiend; it was worse! My stepmother, Dolly.
"Im going out today." She announced regally, as if she discovered a miraculous cure for her moldy toe corns.
"Oh how sweet of you to come all the way upstairs just to tell me that." I snarled, batting my eyelashes.
She snorted one of her nasally snorts.
"By the time i come back, the house better scrubbed clean from top to bottom, with dinner on the stove. Im thinking foie gras pate appetizer and fillet mignon main course? Oh and there's trees in the front that need polishing."
"Oh yeah? how about i bake you a tarte de la comemakemeyoulittleb----" Liz clamped my mouth shut with her hand before i could finish my sentence.
"I think we should head to school now, we're kind of late." She gestured impatiently, pushing my through the door.
"Oh go get run over by a truck!" The evil stepmother cackled.
My eyes twitched as i stood with my fists clenched, refraining to slap the blonde abomination across the face with my left shoe.
"Pffft. Lets go."
Ah the joys of of St. Clementine Academy. A utopia of bountiful bliss, where students harmoniously rejoice in words of politeness and etiquette, giving gifts of kindness and friendship, a glorious sanctuary filled with glee, where one is engulfed in nothing but the sweet, sweet ecstasy of studying. Oh and should probably the mention the sarcasm in my words, the place was a sh*thole.
Monday morning. Maths first period. Sigh. I slumped towards the devil's den, trying ever so hard not to drag my feet. As per usual Miss Gregory stood guarding the entrance to see the stragglers in, glaring at them with those beady eyes of hers, which were burried under the canopy of her thick-rimmed glasses. She was an eccentric character to say the least and was arguably not one of the most inspiring people you'd meet in a lifetime. Grumpy Greg as we liked to call her.
Liz and i took our seats at our usual spot, the table furthest from the whiteboard.
"Hey losers!"
A wet globular object splattered onto my forehead. I glanced upwards to see Chad and his entourage of donkeys, armed with their puny peashooters.
"Whats on your head Emily, why do you have Bigfoot's p*bic hairs?" He retorted whilst his posse snickered hysterically.
