Paper Hearts ▪ Lams

2

December 24th, 2011

John's Bedroom

7th grade

//hoping that you won't forget//

"Jacky," John's mom's voice sang in his ears.

"Yes, Ma?" He asked quietly, lifting his head to meet hers.

She grabbed the small boy by his cheeks and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He smiled softly and looked up to the beautiful woman.

"Come here," she sat down on the top of John's bed, allowing her son to crawl into her arms.

"Now I want you to listen to me, and listen closely," she said, rubbing his shoulder softly.

John nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I know that your dad isn't around much anymore, and that he seems a little bit angrier, but he is just stressed with his job."

John nodded. His dad had been acting weird lately. He wouldn't come home until after John's bedtime and when he did, he would always yell at John's Ma. John knew that there was more to the story than stress, but he decided to not push it since his mom's voice was shaky.

John may have been thirteen, and he may not have an A average, but he wasn't dumb. He knew that his Ma was hiding something, and he found that something within the bruises that would creep up out of her sleeves from time to time.

"This will all blow over soon, okay love?" his Ma whispered into his ear.

John nodded and nuzzled his head into her neck.

"Jacky I have something for you," his Ma said. He perked his head up with a smile.

She laughed, John always loved surprises.

She nodded with a smile and pulled out a small wooden box from the nightstand they were next to. John furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"What's this, Ma?" he asked.

She smiled warmly, "This," she opened the box slowly, "This is something that my mom gave me. She told me to share it with the person I fall in love with."

"Then why aren't you sharing it with dad?" John asked, looking into the old wooden box.

His Ma smiled sadly.

John looked up and met her tear filled eyes. His mouth gaped open slightly, "You don't love dad?" he asked sadly.

"I do," she sniffed and took a small breath, "But he doesn't love me."

John frowned, "I don't know why. You're the most incredible woman I know and will ever know!"

His Ma smiled at him, "Thank you, Jacky."

She sorted through the items in the box. There were a few old photographs, a silver necklace and two golden rings.

She picked up the few pictures and smiled, "This is your grandma and grandpa. Your grandma gave these to me, to remind me that true love is real, and can withstand anything, even death."

John ran his hand along the pictures with a smile, "And they prove that as they dance together in the clouds."

His Ma smiled, letting a tear trail down her cheek. She hugged John tightly, "You are my true love."

"And you will forever be mine, Ma."

She kissed his head gently and pulled the silver necklace out of the wooden box in her lap.

"What is supposed to go in this?" John asked, holding the small glass container that hung at the edge of the silver chain.

"This is what I want my ashes to be stored in when I die, and I want you to wear it."

John looked up at his Ma, "But that won't be for a long time, Ma."

"I know. I just want you to know that," she whispered.

She took the last few items out of the box and held them tightly in her hand.

John looked at the golden bands and smiled, "Were those grandma and grandpa's?" he asked.

His Ma nodded, "Yes they were. They wanted me to share them with the person I fell in love with. My mom told me that it couldn't be some silly relationship that I was in with some hot guy. She said that the real love sprouts, when you dig down to the roots of someone."

John tilted his head at her, "So like, your love is built off of your personalities coming together as one?"

His Ma looked up at him with proud eyes, "You are so much smarter than that dumb school gives you credit for," she hugged him tightly.

"But yes, that is what she meant. She told me that looks are a plus. Like when you order take out, and there are fries at the bottom of a bag; someone's looks should be those fries."

John laughed.

His Ma turned to him with a serious expression, "I want you to share these rings with the person you fall in love with, since I never got to."

John nodded.

"Ma," John looked up at the woman with soft eyes, "I don't like girls the way I'm supposed to."

His Ma smiled, "That's okay, baby boy, that's okay."

He smiled, "Really?" his smile soon flipped, "Dad didn't think so."

His Ma kissed his head reassuringly, "I know. But believe me, it is okay. Just don't mention it much to your dad, okay?"

John nodded.

"Where the hell are you?" his dad's voice boomed from across the house.

His Ma flinched before letting out a sad sigh. She took a few pictures out of her pocket and smiled, handing them to John.

"I want these to be put in this box," she said, slipping off of John's bed.

John looked up with confusion, "But Ma, why-"

She cut him off, placing her hands over the pictures in his hand. They were each of John and his Ma, each with bright smiles on their faces as they showed John growing up.

"I never found the true love that most people find," she said, "But I got you."

John smiled and kissed her cheek, closing the box and putting it back in its drawer.

"Goodnight, baby boy."

"Ma," John whined.

"Okay, okay," she smiled, "Goodnight, John."

"Goodnight, Ma."

She stepped into the hallway, closing John's door slowly. John lay back in his bed and pulled the covers over his body, slowly closing his eyes. He sat straight up when he heard yelling from the living room.

"You bitch, don't ever talk to my son again!"