1000 Forms of Fear

How it Ended.

bzzzzzz... bzzzzzzzz... bzzzzzzzz....

I turned on the lights and groaned at the annoying vibrating sound my phone is doing as I drag myself to sit up and reach for it. My half awaken mind is silently cursing as I squinted to find out who the bloody prat is calling me in the middle of a chilled autumn night.

Sarah Shelby, the name appearing as my phone's screen continued to blink...

"Sarah" I said as I keepon yawning over the speaker.

"Love, it's ten in the evenin'... Can we just talked about whatever it is you're gonna say, tomorrow mornin'? I'm just really tired right now... I hmmm.. wanna....  go back to sleep....."

Sarah, still mumbling words over the phone about several things I really don't give a damn to talk about tonight.

"Yeah, I know.. But I need more time for it. Just tell Big Chief that I'm working on it, yeah..? And, will you tell him that I am fine.. I am, perfectly fine. He doesn't have to worry, alright..? Tell him that, huh..? Good night, love. I'll call you tomorrow" I said as I hit the end call button without even hearing her parting words...

I dimmed the lights as I went back lying on the queen-sized bed. I pulled the duvet and covered myself up. Staring back at the sterile white ceiling as I tried to lull myself back to sleep.

Then, as if on cue, thoughts of you came drifting by...

It's been five years..

And yet, it still felt so strange.
Lying here naked, all curled up, knowing that I am all alone...

That there is no identical room adjacent to mine...

That there won't be knobs silently twisted and creaking doors opening in the middle of the night...

That, there will be no warm body crawling up to my bed and cuddling me until the wee hours of the morning...

That there will be no one caressing my already messy hair...

That there will be no one singing me newly composed songs until I fell softly sound asleep....

And that there will be no one planting me morning kisses before going back to the other room we used to have back in London.

It's been five years of having no one...

It's been half a decade of not having you around...

Five painful years of living each day knowing that you've taken half of my heart and soul to wherever you might have been...

Five long years, of knowing that this other half you left in me are slowly dying...

~~~~

It's already eight in the morning, and as promised I made a phone call back to London. Sarah, my long time friend  and PR/manager is already starting her long speeches as she tries to convince me to fly back to the real world and finish writing the book sequels.. .

"You should come back home. Everyone's waiting for you here.
And by mean everyone, that includes several publishing houses all keen about the progress of the second installment of your previous book..!