Requested prompts

Requested prompts bundle 1 - "Why can't you appreciate my sense of humour?" - AC

It was a quiet day, almost too quiet. No sounds of keyboards clacking, no chattering. Just the gentle buzzing of the air con. Desmond groaned, sitting up from his bed, clothes sticking to him from the heat. It was too hot to work in the animus today, even Shaun agreed, and he was a hardass half the time. He stood up, huffing, and headed towards the fridge. He pulled a bottle of water out of the freezer and let out a noise of content as the cold soothed his skin. He took a gulp, and wiped the sweat from his forehead. From the couch, he hears Becca groan with what sounds like emotional distress, or even great pain, and quickly walks to find her. She has a hand covering her face, and before he can ask what's wrong, she groans again.
"That was the worst shit I have ever heard in my life. No wonder you don't go anywhere, I'd lock myself away with my work too if I was that bad." He sees Shaun sat opposite in shorts and a polo shirt, and raises a confused brow. Wow, must be really hot to get him out his shirt and sweater, he thinks to himself. Upon noticing him stood in the doorway, Rebecca grins up at him, a sign that means she's clearly up to no good.
"Desmond! Come join us!" She chirps, and he almost refuses, but the air conditioning is so nice in here that he just has to accept. He sits down next to her, letting his feet rest on the coffee table. This would usually annoy Shaun, but it must be too hot for him to function.
"So, what exactly were you sounding like a dying cat for, Becca?" She momentarily lifts herself from her slouching position to punch him on the arm, to which he feigns injury.
"I was trying to lighten her abysmal mood by telling a few jokes." Shaun interjects, hair far from his usual faux hawk with the heat. Desmond can't help but think he looks rather stupid with his hair flattened out like that, but he suppresses this thought knowing he can't look much better himself.
"That sounds... fun.." Des clears his throat awkwardly, and Shaun sighs.
"Oh not you too. You're both miserable."
Desmond and Becca share a look of pure concern.
"Dude I feel like I've been warped to an alternate reality where Shaun isn't such a dick, except it's not really working." Becca laughs, and Desmond can't help but chuckle too, making the Brit scowl.
"Why can't you appreciate my sense of humour? My jokes are superior." He huffs out, making Desmond raise a brow.
"Well, go on then, I'm sure they can't be that bad." He notions for Shaun to continue, and Becca shoots him a horrified look.
"Right. Well" Shaun sits up straight at this, almost as if given new life. "How do Americans make their tea?" He asks, smiling as if he was already immensely pleased with himself.
Desmond shrugs at this, " Dunno." The heat was making him lethargic and sluggish, so he stuck to as short a sentence he could.
"They throw it in the harbour." Desmond blinked, waiting for the punchline, but was severely confused when it did not come. Des turns to Becca, who wore the exact same confused expression as himself, and looked back to Shaun, who's smirk promptly dropped.
"Oh come on... You're joking right?" He asks, and Becca pipes up.
"I thought that was your job." Desmond sniggers at this.
"No, you can't possibly be serious! You don't get that?"
Their faces must have been a dead give away, because he looked back at them with an unreadable expression.
"The navigation act? The taxes on imported goods?"
If anything, the two Americans grew more confused, making Shaun seemingly more annoyed.
"The British-American Wars? For independence? The Boston tea party?! No?!" Desmond shook his head, and Becca shrugged.
Shaun sounded genuinely offended by this point, and threw his hands up in frustration. "You two are unbelievable!" He stood, and left.

"Wonder why he left?" Desmond asked innocently, and Becca just laughed.
"Probably went to jerk off to a history magazine or something." They both grinned at this, and Desmond stuck out his hand.
"Petition to never let him tell jokes again?" Becca shook his hand firmly.
"Agreed."