The clip

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Hazel Sinclair.

"Why do you think it's strange, coming out of my... mouth?" I asked slowly, as if afraid to make the bomb explode when it's ticking deliberately.

Then I turned my head towards him, watching his eyes in the dark. Although it was dark, I could see his eyes quite clearly.

He puffed up his mouth with air as if contemplating his next words. "I uh... Don't you think it should be you...?"

His words were slow, just like the meanings hidden in his words. He wanted me to understand what he was implying, and I understood it very clearly. But still, I wanted him to clarify what exactly he means in exact words. Because words can either heal you or hurt you. There's no in-between.

"You need to start speaking exact words, Jayden. Or I can't understand you completely." I said, with a frown. "I need to know what exactly you meant when you said that it was strange coming out of my mouth."

He exhaled loudly. Though the silence and darkness, it sounds animalistic and very loud. "I meant that you're calling my best friend insensitive when you have no idea how much... how much you are also..." He cleared his throat. "That."

Do you think I would feel a pang of guilt and hurt? Think again.

After all, I am a murderer.

"No, Jayden. You don't get to do that. You shouldn't do that. You didn't know what happened, so don't defend your best friend right now." I said, shaking my head.

"So tell me then!" I saw a bit of frustration swirling in his eyes. "He's my best friend. We grew up together. I'm supposed to defend him no matter what."

"No matter what? No matter what? He talked about how childish Elena is when she is still a child! God, he straight-up insulted Elena behind her back!" I nearly yelled getting closer to his face to prove my point.

He just blinked. "Why would he do that? He loves Elena just like her own sister he never had."

Jayden probed silently over the situation. I was breathing heavily to calm myself down. We both were silent and were back to staring at the ceiling in the dark, not meeting each other's eyes. We both were stuck in our thoughts.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of the time when I slammed the door on Jayden's mother's face after yelling at her for bringing me cookies. Those coconut cookies are still resting in my cookie jar, untouched. I had been a pretty bad insensitive jerk if I say so myself.

So you think you get the right to call Christian insensitive?

"Why would he talk about my sister behind her back?" He spoke in a low voice and I could feel the gears in his mind rolling to come up with a result.

"I broke up with him. It's over." I blurted out.

I felt his eyes on me again even though I was still staring up at the ceiling. "Why would you do that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know any reason or maybe there are too many reasons..."

"Now you are talking in riddles, Hazel." He rolled his brown eyes.

I wanted to talk in riddles. To talk like I meant too much from the words I spoke. I didn't know why, but I felt that if I talk like that, I'd save myself from confrontation. Confrontation from who? Myself.

The reasons may be insignificant, maybe petty or irrelevant, but I already knew the main reason- the reason why I broke up with Christian.

I may not be ready to confirm it myself, I may not be ready to think about it surely, but I was ready to embrace that it was in fact, the biggest reason why I ended things with Christian.

"I just didn't feel like myself with him, Jayden. I wasn't comfortable." I let out a petty little reason.

He was silent for a moment but then he spoke. "You and I both know that you never are uncomfortable in a situation, babe. You speak your mind. You say what you want to say. And that's why I called you insensitive because you don't care whether the other person will find your words offensive. I'm not accusing you, but merely reminding you of how you used to be."

I didn't speak because I had a feeling he wants to say more.

Then I felt his arms sneaking up on my waist, bringing me closer to his chest until both of our bodies were touching and connected.

"You've developed, a lot. You think before you speak now. And that's a really good development, no matter how much you murmur about you not being nice and murmur about you being a... murderer. You've changed in a better way. I don't know what the reason is for that but what I do know is that I was very proud of you when you were talking to Elena like your own sister."

The reason is you, Jayden. I changed for you.

Maybe.

"But I know that I-" I tried to speak but he cut me off.

"You may think that I don't see anything? I see and notice everything about you, Hazel. I have told you that I've been in love with you since the first time we met at the mall. When you love someone, you think about them every time, you tend to notice every tiny detail about them, you notice them. You decide to look past the bad in them. And that's what I do, Hazel. I want to see past all the bad clouds that you have around you. I want to see the real you. But you keep pushing me..."

He may be indirectly and discreetly indicating that I was bad and he wanted to change me, but his words were somehow more... touching. His words touched my heart, no matter how cheesy it sounded.

"Jayden, I'm not saying that I'll consider you, consider us, but I will consider us." That earned me a throatily and low chuckle from him.

I could feel him smile while snuggling in between my neck and shoulder. I sighed because I wanted something so bad right now which is legitimately impossible.

I wanted to stop the moment, I want to stay like this forever. In his arm, under his cocoon. Because I felt something which I had never felt before. It wasn't feeling, it wasn't any emotion. It was much stronger.

It was a sense of safety. I felt safe and secure in his arms. I knew for a fact that when you feel that way with someone, you aren't supposed to let it go. You're supposed to hold onto it and keep a tight hold because you wouldn't want to let it go in the end.

In the end, you will feel blessed and content.

Or more like, happy.

Before drifting into soundless sleep, I murmured something.

"I want to be happy, too."

***