The pizza guy shows up halfway through our movie. No matter what place you order pizza from they always seem to arrive later than what they actually said. I sat down on one of the barstools and grabbed a slice of cheese, digging into it immediately. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw the perfectly melted cheese on the pizza. The cheese was so gooey every time I took a bite so I probably looked like a freak with a whole string of cheese hanging out of my mouth.
"Got enough cheese?" Harry laughs, pointing at the string of cheese out of my mouth.
"Aparently not." I smile as I remove the access cheese from my mouth.
I don't know what this is but I sort of like it. I like being playful with Harry. I like kissing Harry. I actually like being around him. I push those thoughts down faster than they appeared and focused on Harry carefully biting his slice.
I laugh when the cheese flops on his chin and creates a mess of sauce on his face.
"You can't escape it. Even when you eat it as carefully as possible the cheese always fights back." I joke.
"Can you hand me a napkin?" He asks, picking the cheese of his chin.
I reach across the counter and grp a couple napkins. Instead of giving it to him I pressed the Domino's napkin on his chin and gently wiped away the red sauce.
He watches me while I do it and I peek up at him when I realize what I'm doing. I awkwardly pull away and hand him the set of napkins.
'Hey." he grabs my hand after the napkins are traded into his hands.
I look into his eyes and the goregous green color are pouring into me. Just one millisecond under his stare and I'm willing to share with him everything and give him everything he needs.
That could be dangerous.
I revert my eyes down to his shirt and lightly touch the red sauce that has slightly stained his shirt. He notices my sudden actions and pulls my chin up to look at him, forcing my eyes to stare into his.
"I like you, you know?" He admits.
"Don't say that." I say harshly, my protective side getting the best of me.
"Why not?" his eyebrows push together causing him to look more confused than ever.
"You don't want to like me." I admit shakily. It's true why would he want someone who's so damaged?
"Why do you keep saying shit like this? First you say that kiss was a mistake which it obviously wasn't and now you're telling me all this bullshit? What's wrong with liking you?" He pushes away from me and moves his hands through his hair, something I've seen him do so much in the last 24 hours.
"I just- I don't-" I stumble over my own words, trying to find the best excuse."I don't know Harry. I'm hard to figure out."
"You got that right." He says, storming out of the kitchen and back into the living room where Blake was continuing the movie.
I sit back down on the couch, this time next to Blake and before I know it I'm drifting off to sleep.
It's three a.m. I've been watching the clock for hours, waiting for the moment to happen. The moment where the doctors come back and tell me she'll be fine. It's been too long and by the looks of it, she's probably not going to be fine.
"Miss Owens?" A male voice startles me and makes me jump out of my seat.
The doctor stands there with his clipboard in his hands and by the look on his face I can't tell it isn't good news.
"Your mother is awake but I must warn you that she is very out of it from all of the medication that we put her on. The tumor, unfortunately, has expanded and malignated and there's nothing really we can do. If we're lucky, she has a couple days but it all depends on how her body responds to the medication. People with this form of cancer seem to not get along well with this medication but there has been reports that it helps tremendously so we can only hope that it will do such that. For now I suggest you stay by her side. I'm sorry Miss Owens." he places his hand on my shoulder but I shake it off and fall to the floor.
I'm so mad. At the doctor? For what telling me the inevitable?I knew she didn't have long but just hearing him say those words made it real.
I pick my self up and follow his lead to the room where my mother is. I walk in and the sight before me makes me break down again. The once glowing and healthy woman is not here. She's been replaced by this weak and sickly person. Her once brown locks are thin and frail. She's hooked up to so many machienes that I can't even remember what her arms looked like without tubes and wires poking into her.
"Hi Baby." She says weakily and the tears continue to flow down.
She's lightly smiling but I can barely see her with the bluriness from my tears.
"I know you don't want to hear this but in case I don't make it within the next few hours I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to your father and I. When we found out we were having you we couldn't stop smiling. But when you were born I was very depressed. Your father died just weeks before but everytime I held you in my arms you took all that pain away. You made me feel alive again and I couldn't thank you enough for being the light in my world. Charlie Grace, I love you with all my heart and I don't want you to live in pain like I did when your father died. Be happy knowing I lived a wonderful life with you, and although it was a short one, it certanily was the best one. Don't cry honey. Mommy is going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Just be strong, for me. I left a couple things with Auntie Carol. She's going to take care of you okay? Charlie, baby, its okay." She said wiping the stream flowing down my face. With every word she spoke a waterfall was bursting from my eyes, I've never cried this much in my entire life.
"I love you so much mom. I don't want you to go. " I sobbed into her shoulder. She scooted over and made room for me to lie with her on the bed. She rubbed her hand up and down my shoulder, sootihing me ever so gently. She always knew how to calm me down. After the tears finally stopped finally fell asleep peacefully in her arms. By the time I woke up she was gone
"Charlie!" Harry shakes me awake.
Tears are already streaming down my face as I become aware of my surroundings. Not again.
That flashback always haunts me at least once in a good while. Why did it have to be here? With Harry and Blake right next to me to witness my pain?
"You were screaming are you okay?" Harry asks, wiping some of the tears from my face.
Before I know it I'm bolting off the couch and running towards the front door. I'm shaking again. Badly, like before. It;s happening again and I need to get out of here before they see me like that.
I cant even open the door instead I pound on it, as if that is going to help me in anyway. I give up effortlessly and fall down against the door.
Harry comes rushing in with Blake following close behind.
He doesn't say anything as he sits down beside me. For a few moments we sit in silence as he grabs ahold of my body and comforts me. The shaking has toned down a bit but the dream is still vivid in my mind. For a while I can't even feel Harry's fingers stroking up and down my arm. Once I finally calmed down I become aware of Harry's quite "shhh" and his touch on my skin.
"Tell me what happened." Harry whispers and I shudder.
There is no way I can get out of this one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow there are actual tears on my keyboard right now. ahhhh I'm back helloooo.
Please vote/comment/follow/share or whatever! I've made up my mind and I have decided that I will continue on with this story I shouldn;t care if people aren't reading it! This is my story to tell and if people want to read along then they can! lol. It is going to be very hard for me to update this week. There is so much going on at school, so many essays and tests that are due next week. teachers just love to cram everything in before spring break :/ anyways I will try to update asap :)
with love,
-B
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Burn // h.s
Fanfiction“You kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire. He had wondered once why love was always phrased in terms of burning. The conflagration in his own veins, now, gave the answer." She's the candle that cannot burn without his flame. He's the fir...
