You Can Take It Off (When You're Ready) [Twenty One Pilots]

Chapter Thirty-Føur: Sinless

 When Lena reached Jessica's house, she let out a breath of relief: there was a light on in the living room, meaning Jessica had not left yet. With determination, the girl walked up the driveway towards the front door and knocked automatically, not letting her mind the chance to get cold feet. She was confident this was the last time she would ever see the woman who had kidnapped her little sister, this was her last chance to get all the answers she needed to finally try and move on. 

Jessica let out a surprised gasp as soon as she opened the door, which she almost slammed close by reflex. But Lena was faster, and her foot had already landed on the shiny wooden floor of the entrance hall. 

Jessica looked up at her sternly. "If you're here to just yell at me again, please don't," she said, and her tone, condescending and almost defying the day before, sounded more like desperation and fatigue this time.

"I'm not," Lena answered pleadingly, "I promise. I just have a few more questions. Please let me in."

A brief silence followed, during which the two women stared at each other, gauging their respective reactions. Finally, Jessica stepped over and Lena stepped inside, automatically walking towards the living room. Cardboard boxes had disappeared, as well as most of the furniture, leaving the house empty and cold. If it weren't for the used sofa and the large wooden table and chairs, it almost looked like the place had stayed uninhabited for years. 

"Movers came by this morning," Jessica said as if to complete Lena's thoughts. "I was about to leave the house for good." She dared a smile, a sad one, and Lena couldn't help but return it back as she sat down on the sofa where she was soon joined by the older woman. 

"Why are you leaving?" Lena asked. She felt almost compassionate, although she knew the woman staring at her from the other side of the sofa had done a horrible thing, and considered that starting the conversation with small talk would allow her to bring up the darker things more easily and without remorse.

Jessica shrugged, looking vaguely out the window, then down at the wooden floor, everywhere except into Lena's eyes. "Let's be honest," she said, and that was all Lena wanted to hear. "The second I saw you with that other girl, I knew it was you. And I knew this was coming. All things considered, I'm glad it did. I'm relieved it did."

"Then why did you try to cover it up yesterday?" Lena asked with the softest voice as if talking louder would have scared away the strange but truthful moment they were now sharing. "Why did you pretend, even for a second, that you weren't..."

"Guilty?" Jessica completed, shrugging again in defeat. "I don't know, really. This was probably a vague attempt at salvaging the so-called perfect life I thought I had. I know now that it was all made up. And the worst part is, I made it up. I'm the one to blame."

Silence fell upon them at those words. Lena wished she had something to say to that, but nothing she could think of made any sense because the fact was, Jessica was right. She was the one to blame. She had made the mistakes that had led her here, and she truly couldn't blame anyone else but herself. 

"What happened?" Lena finally broke the silence after a moment that felt like years and a few seconds at the same time. "After you took her, I mean. How did you get here?"

"It's a long story," Jessica sighed deeply. Finally, she looked her in the eye. "But you want to know it all, I guess."

Lena didn't even have to answer as Jessica launched herself into a seemingly endless monologue. 

"Despite my fears, and my recklessness, I managed to get out of the hospital easily. I had placed baby Leah in a huge duffel bag filled with duvets and covers I found in the nurses' supplies closet. Nobody noticed, and those who did didn't question it. I got in the car with her, then decided that if I really wanted to be her mother, I would have to do anything to keep her safe. So I went back in, without her, asked to talk to the Chief, then quit my job altogether. I went home that night, after grabbing more supplies for Leah, but I knew this wasn't enough. I knew I would have to flee and, ultimately, pick a new identity. So that's what I did."