The journey to here

2

Addison's POV:

"Are those bruises?"

I was in the women's washroom, washing my hands, when Callie Torres stopped me with wide eyes. My scrub top, much to my dismay, had gotten caught in the stall door when I exited, meaning it had accidentally rolled up without my realization. My pale hip, littered with black and blue bruises, was exposed to Callie's worried eyes.

"Um" I stuttered, unsure of what to say. Before I could swiftly yank my shirt back down, Callie was by my side and rolling my shirt up further to inspect the damage that, unbeknownst to her, was caused by Meredith Grey.

"Oh my God" Callie's gentle fingers ghosted over the bruises, which were deep and scattered due to Meredith's wandering hands. We hadn't kissed for that long, or maybe it was long but I felt as if it was short, either way, I was surprised when the bruises appeared as prominent as they did.

Meredith had a steel grip when motivated.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it" I shoo her hand lightly from my hip and go to pull my shirt back down "I just hit it off a table, that's all" but Callie moves to my other side and inspects the matching bruises.

"Both of your hips are bruised; either this table had a serious vendetta against you, or someone grabbed you hard enough to leave marks" Callie stated "dark marks, these are pretty deep bruises. Have you seen Derek lately?"

I was confused for a minute, of course I'd seen Derek recently. We hadn't been talking much, besides our usual awkward and tight-lipped conversations about couples therapy (which we'd been pushing back due to 'surgery' and 'scheduling problems', but really, sitting and properly talking to one another would just be too painful). I'd tried to make light conversation, pleasant conversation, multiple times. Each time, Derek shut me down because "I just can't look at you yet, Addison".

"Yes I've seen Derek" I state warily "what about him?"

Callie paused, almost hesitation, before finding her words. "I know Derek can get angry, he's like a gentle giant until he gets mad. And well, you kinda make him really angry as of right now" she quickly tacked on "and I know he yells and stuff, but did he ever get so mad that he maybe sort of grabbed you? Hard enough to leave painful looking bruises?" Callie looked unsure, but still concerned, while I just laughed.

Sure, when Derek got angry he yelled. He'd shouted his fair share of profanities at me more than once. But never, ever, in all the time I'd known him had he ever gotten violent with me. He wasn't the type of guy to smack around his wife, even if he did get really angry. Hell, Derek used to apologize when he accidentally bumped into me. He's gentle, always has been, always will be.

Makes me wonder what he was ever doing with Meredith Grey.

"Derek would never hurt me" I assure her "he might be a downright bastard at times, but his weapon of choice was never his hands; always his words. They hurt more" I wasn't wrong; Never get into a verbal fight with Derek Shepherd, because no matter who you were, he'd always know what to say to hit you where it hurt the most.

She nodded understandingly before continuing "Then who bruised you up? It looks like finger prints..." I watched with a cringe as her face lit up with the recognition of what actually put the bruises on my hips. "Did you and Derek...you know?" She asks with a laugh "man, I never took him as someone who was rough in the sack but THIS sure is something"

"No, no we didn't have sex or anything" I assured her quickly. I'd kissed Derek once, and he'd been radio-silent ever since. And it wasn't even like the kiss with Meredith; the kiss with Derek was gentle and sweet and closed-mouthed, the way you'd kiss your grandma if it was still socially acceptable to kiss your grandma on the lips when you're older than four. The kiss with Meredith was pure force bruising and blinding force that nearly knocked the wind out of me.