Heated.

Chapter Five.

Sahara POV:

"good morning Sahara." Avan says, his eyes glistening as they wait for my reply. Instead of replying, i just look down. I notice he lingers before sitting down, probably frowning. But i don't care, i let myself get too carried away with him and it ends today. Asim will come back to me when he realizes that Avan doesn't mean anything to me. "hey, Sahara? Do you mind helping me out really quickly?" he mumbles quietly, waiting to see if the first time i gave him the cold shoulder was an accident. "sorry, no i don't understand this." i say, not even looking at the paper. He scoots his desk closer, and moves so that he's in my eye sight. "ok. What's wrong." "why do you assume something is wrong Avan?" "because Sahara. You didn't say good morning to me..." he stops and thinks and proceeds cautiously. "your normally gorgeous eyes are showing me that you're conflicted about something. This whole month actually.Did i do something to you?" my heart damn near stops. He called my eyes gorgeous. An image of Asim's face flashes in my mind and i shut myself down completely.

I feel myself fill with rage and i look at him, eyes piercing like daggers."Look. I'll be honest with you. I don't know what you thought was going to happen when you met me, maybe you thought i would be easy because i don't have any friends, but ill tell you this now. We are never going to be more that two students that happen to be in the same class. You're never going to be more than a friend, shit i don't even consider you a friend now. Just leave me alone ok?" i say before being able to stop myself. I instantly regret it but i can't bring myself to apologize. Asim means too much for me for Avan to mess it up.

He looks down after my outburst and scoots his desk away. His eyes sad, he offers a heartbroken smile and says. "well, now i finally understand why your name is Sahara." "what?" i reply, visibly and audibly annoyed.

"i finally know why your name is one of the most beautiful deserts on the planet. You are an oasis. You offer a sanctuary to everyone you meet and in order to get there the path is treacherous. You hold some of the most horrible demons even the devil would blush at but one can't help but to be drawn in again and again. You are a desert but I've found myself in front of a mirage, just hoping that what I'm seeing now isn't real. I have faith that you are my oasis Sahara. And i don't know what's going on with you today but i will leave you alone. I'm sorry for bothering you."

I didn't know how to reply. There was no need to though, because as soon as he was done he left, slamming the door and making people look up.

Part of me wanted to jump up and follow him, envelop him into a hug, smell the cologne that reminds me of honey and chocolate and apologize for being so mean. But the other part was relieved. Relieved because i could finally return to the person i was before him. Alone, angry, depressed, yet content because it was just me and the memory of Asim. I was tired of being thrown all new feelings and being on an emotional roller coaster. I was tired of his goofy grin that would chill me from my head all the way to my heels, tired of the sound that could only be described as angels singing when he laughed. The question was not if i was tired of it. But the question was did i deserve it ? Right now i am nothing but the shell of the person i was before.

Looking at Avan i see the future. A pathway out of the personal hell that i was suffocating in. A new start, a new beginning. But i was in no position to be asking for that...

Can fallen angels afford such luxuries?