Sinking Down

it's okay

Today I spoke in lies.
I held a little hand and reassured it,
I made promises of happiness and hope when we both knew none of this was true.
A sinking feeling has been living in my stomach, festering away and eating me whole.
I am dying, living life though I'm lying when I say I'm actually living at all.
Things have gone so wrong, over and over.
There's been too much damn hurt now to fucking cope!
We're all supposed to be okay but fuck.. We all know we're breaking slowly, it's been crumbling for ages and with just one more blow we'll disintegrate.
We'll drift away with the wind, nothing but ash and shattered pieces left behind.
We'll tell ourselves we're living life although it's all a lie.
We're ok.
I promise we are.
And every little promise is a cry, a cry for help, because we're destroyed and we need saving. 
We've never been ok since the day we felt we had to be.
We haven't been ok since we fucking needed to be.
I've put on a brave face and you have too, and so we're all smiling on the outside while our hearts try to let ourselves convince ourselves we are indeed right.
We're ok, we'll be fine, don't worry about us we're alright.
Today I spoke in lies,
I said I was ok.