THINGS MOVED OFF MY FFN

Where Did You Go? (2/2)

Saturday morning. Akira stood staring at Hikaru Shindou's front door, second-guessing himself for the twenty-third time since he'd stepped off the train. Surely Shindou didn't want to be bothered- no, it wasn't the time to think like that. Hikaru had let everyone down... the least he could give them was answers. Akira took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

It was only a moment before Hikaru's mother came to the door. "Oh! Hello- um, who are you?"

"My name is Touya Akira- I'm a friend of your son's." Friend is a strong word. "We used to play Go together, but then he stopped showing up..." Together is also a strong word. "Um, is he here? I need to talk to him..."

"Oh, I've heard of you... Um, is this about Go? I'm afraid I've got no clue what's going on with him, I'm sorry... He's been really worrying me lately. Has he really been skipping all of his games?"

"As far as I know, he hasn't played one since May."

"Are you here to try and talk some sense into him? Oh, please do, he doesn't have anything other than go to rely on, and he refuses to talk to me..." She stepped aside, and Touya entered, taking his shoes off and looking around. "If anyone can snap him out of this, it's someone who actually knows about what the job is like."

"I'll do my best..." Akira sighed. He didn't know it'd gotten this bad- the thoughts telling him he shouldn't be here were back with a vengeance. "Do you have any idea why he stopped playing?"

"I'm not sure, whenever I ask, he refuses to answer, but I remember he started acting really strange a while ago... I think it was May the Fifth, he ran off halfway across the country and back in a day."

"He did?"

"Mhm... Scared me half to death..." Shindou did have a habit of doing that to people. "Anyway, that's all I know. Should I let him know you're here?" Akira nodded. "Hikaru!" Ms. Shindou called upstairs. "One of your friends is here!" There was a muffled, half-hearted response that neither of them could properly make out. The woman sighed. "Just go upstairs... First door on the left. I won't eavesdrop." She said before walking into a different room.

"Thank you." Akira bowed before proceeding up the stairs. He knocked softly on the door.

"Go away." Shindou's tone of voice was unnervingly hollow.

"Shindou." He knocked again.

There was a pause. "Touya? What're you doing here?"

"I'm-" He didn't entirely know. "...here for answers."

"Go away."

"Shindou, are you really not going to play Go anymore?"

"What does it look like?" The boy behind the door said sarcastically, although his voice was a little closer. "What did I tell you before?"

"I just can't believe it... after all the time you spent chasing after me, now you're just giving up?" He slammed his fist on the door. "I can't believe you..."

"What do you care? I'm nothing to you."

"Don't say that!" It was all he could do to keep from shouting. "Is that really why you abandoned Go?"

"..."

"Say something, damnit!" He squeezed his eyes shut. "Say something..."

". . ."

He straightened up, staring at the door. "You let everyone down, Shindou. I thought... I thought you were..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

And then, the door swung open.

He looked up to meet Shindou's eyes, and... oh. Hikaru'd, for the most part, let his appearance go- hair unbrushed, sloppily dressed, awful posture, dark circles under his eyes... and that look. The way he was looking at Touya- he looked sad, hurt, lonely... Had his words really stung the other boy that much? No, no, that wasn't it, it couldn't have been... There was a moment of silence and tension where they merely stared at each other, and then it finally occurred to Akira. All the pieces were right here in front of him... He finally understood.

"...you've been grieving." He said quietly, gaze dropping to the floor.

Shindou sighed. "You're sharp as ever, Touya..."

"I-I'm so sorry..." He couldn't believe himself. He couldn't begin to understand what Shindou had been going through, he'd jumped to conclusions so fast, he'd practically been shouting at the other player for something he couldn't have done anything about... He felt awful.

"It's not your fault, it's mine..."

"No. Don't say that. Of course it's not your fault."

"I'm the one who kept everything quiet for so long..."

"Well, I'm the one who's bothering you right now. I got caught up in my emotions, I... just couldn't believe it."

Hikaru was silent, looking at Akira with the same eyes. "...maybe..." He murmered, putting a hand to his face as if he was thinking.

"? Maybe- Maybe what?"

"...since it's all over now... I might as well tell you..."

"What's over? What are you talking about?"

"...he was the reason I played Go."