Finding My Strength

~Facing Fears and Strengthing My Heart~ The Beginning

From being the fourteen-year-old girl whose dad walked out of her life to the person I am today (without my dad), didn't come so easily. I cried, I was angry, I was hurt, I was torn, and I was lost. I mean, why would my dad walk out of my life? What did he enjoy so much that his kids didn't have? Drugs.

My Dad was an amazing hard working man when it came to supporting his family. Even if he was stingy with things. Out of all of that, he did some pretty depressing things too. Life wasn't the same when he walked out. I discover depression..... What helped me through my depression? No one, but the food was there for me. It was my comfort. I ate and ate. Nothing could stop me.

I eventually became overweight... Depression settled in even harder.

After my grandpa died, I left public school and did online. I started to feel insecure about myself, so I did the one thing that I regret the most, I shut people out. Yes, I did have friends who kept in contact, even though I never really responded to them.

How did I overcome this? The Lord opened my eyes. He showed me what I had inside of me. Including my friends, who I adore, and my family, who I love. Without them, I would be nothing. I sit here to this day so thankful that I have them. Even if things are hard at home, I wouldn't trade them for anything.

My mom, who I appreciate so much for being in my life, knows my dad might not come back. My mom helped me through the pain of not having my father in my life. She told me "Katherine, your dad loves you. He might not be in your life right now, but that's okay because remember, it wasn't your dad who walked out, it was the drugs he was on that made him walk out," and she's right. I always thought it was something that he didn't like about us.

Ever since that day, I have tried to make myself strong again. I have been trying to walk around with confidence, knowing my body isn't in a healthy state like it should be. I will keep fighting. I exercise for two weeks, then I gave up because of something small that has happened.

However, I still keep going. I am learning to love myself in so many ways. I also still have those incredible friends that have been by my side since day one.

I am also facing my fears and going back to a public school this year after two years of being online. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I mean graduating my senior year with my friends and my family sitting there watching me take my diploma will be a memorable time in my life. Yes, my father won't be there, but at least I will make it.

© 2017 Katherine Rish
Alias: SuperNovelNerd

This short autobiography was a part of the Mind Over Matter Contest.