Amara
Itinulak ko gamit ang aking mga paa ang inuupuan kong swing. I looked up and see the beautiful stars above.
It's been a week since that incident happened. Ngayon lang ako nakalabas ng bahay ng walang may nagpaparinig o nangbabash saakin.
Maybe because I covered my face using a mask and I wore my jacket. I laughed bitterly, daig ko pa pala ang mga artista eh.
"But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark" I sang. A tear escaped from my eyes at agad ko itong pinunasan.
Lost stars. The one he always sing.
Damn it Amara! Will you stop?
The wound in my heart is still fresh. Sa tingin ko ay hindi na ito gagaling pang muli.
He's the one who will take away the pain in my heart but he, he needs to be away from me.
I sighed as I recall what happened a week ago.
Flashback
I'm wearing my hoodie and covered my mouth with a mask upang hindi ako mapansin ng mga tao.
Jungkook wants to talk to me and I need to talk to him too.
I saw him seating on a swing tila wala sa sarili. I sighed and go there.
Nabigla siya sa pagpunta ko kaya napatayo ito. Napalinga linga ako sa paligid upang makasigurong walang nakakakita saamin
"Hey" pilit niyan ngiti. I cannot even forced a smile. Seeing him trying to act normal when clearly, he was in pain breaks my heart.
"Let's break up" walang paligoy ligoy kong sinabi. Nabigla naman siya sa sinabi ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko.
I lazily look at him. I'm tired, emotionally.
"B-baby? Did I d-do something wrong?" He asked. Umiling lang ako at nagsimula nang tumulo ang luha ko.
I pity him for being so good to me. I'm breaking up with him not because he did something wrong, I'm breaking up with him because he needs to be away from me.
The more closer he is from me, the more danger will come.
"You don't need to know the reason. Let's just break up-"
"Is it because of the people who bash you? Tell me baby, magagawan ko ng paraan yan. I can hold a press confe--" he didn't finish his statement when I shouted.
"Oh please don't make this any worse! I'm not doing these for me, I'm doing this for your own sake" I cried and he started crying too. Napayuko siya, tila hindi ipinapakita ang pagiyak niya kahit na halatang halata naman na.
"We promise each other that we will fight for any problems that will come to our life. Why are you giving up now?" Narinig ko pa ang paghikbi niya.
"Because I don't want to torment you" lumambot ang aking boses ng sinabi ko iyon. He looked at me. I saw the mix anger and pain in his eyes.
"But it's okay for you to be hurt?" Bahagya akong napatigil sa sinabi niya. Is it really okay for me?
"Yes" I said with finality. Mas lalo siyang nasaktan sa sinabi ko. As long as his dreams will not be broken, it's okay for me.
"Look, maybe nadala ka lang sa emosyon mo kaya mo nasasabi yan. Magusap nalang tayo sa ibang araw--"
"No. My emotion's not the one who's talking, I am. As long as you continue to pursue your dreams, it's okay for me to be hurt" I said and smiled. It was not a forced smile. It's amazing, I didn't know that you can still smile even if you're hurting.
"But you're one of my dreams" he said, desperately. I shook my head.
"No I'm not. I hope in the right time you will understand the difference of dreams and temptation" I said. He advanced but I immediately step back. He should be atleast one meter away from me.
"Thank you for making me feel everything I feel years ago" I said and continue to walk away from him. He didn't move, he just stared at me while crying
"Goodbye" I said and turn my back on him. Nagsimula na din akong humagulgol.
I want to kiss him, to hug him, and to take back everything I said and just run away with him. But no, there's no turning back. It's for his sake and for the sake of the many.
Fear has two meanings, it means forget everything and run or face eveything and rise. It's your choice.
End of flashback
What now Amara? You're hoping that he'll come back here? No. You're just keeping your hopes up.
I sighed and dial a number in my phone. Nakatatlong ring ang ay sinagot na agad ito
"Yes baby?" Paulo said when he answered. I roll my eyes, I can imagine him now smirking.
"Stop calling me that" I said he just chuckled.
"What is it? Di mo ko tatawagan kung wala kang kailangan" he said. I look around. Tanging alitaptap, bituin, at buwan nalang ang nagliliwanag sa buong paligid.
"Can you please pick me up?" I said and scratch my head.
"Okay I will be right there. Wait for me" he said and hang up. Ni hindi ko na kailangang sabihin kung asan ako dahil alam naman na niya. I always tell him that I want to go here.
Maybe to reminisce what happened a week ago even though it hurts a lot.
Maya maya lang ay narinig ko na ang busina kaya agadakong tumayo at naglakad papunta sa kotse niya.
"Hop in" he said and I went inside his car. His eyes were on the road while my eyes were busy looking at the street lights.
Astrea is busy with her parents. Her dad wants her to hold their firm once she graduated.
We're riding his brand new car that he bought a month ago. Tsk, kalalaking tao napakagastador.
"I always wonder, you have your car but you're always riding with Astrea. What's up with you two eh?" I teased him and start poking his side.
"Tsk stop it. I just ride with her kase tinatamad akong magdala ng sasakyan" he said. Natawa naman ako saglit at maya maya ay umingay na ang katahimikan.
"You miss him do you?" He asked, never leaving his eyes off the road. I just nodded, I'm sure he saw me on his peripheral vision.
They both know what happened to us. Nakakatawa nga eh nung nalaman nila na nakipagbreak ako sakanya ay agad silamg bumisita at nagsleepover saamin.
I'm glad that he's on tour right now. I hope he's doing fine. I cut our connection so he cannot call me again.
"Cheer up. People come and go that's life, you should get used to it" he said as he try to cheer me up. I smiled.
"Why don't we just go to the near ice cream shop here? What do you think?"
"Sounds fun" I said and smirked. I'm still lucky to have him and Astrea as my bestfriends. They're the one who will cheer you up if you're feeling down.
