My concience controlled me. The guilt that I felt seemed to rush through my veins onto my heart turning it into the center of a raceway. Its weird how my heart skipped a beat for one guy, but my mind thought about another. I was lost. Lost inside of myself.
Two beautiful years with my boyfriend seemed to be fading away into memories. They say that nothing lasts forever, but deep in, I was hoping we did. His lips touching mine still gave me butteflies like on the first time. He made me the happiest girl; however, every relationship has its struggles. After all that occurred, I became so attached to him, that is, until I met one of his best friends. I thought that since they were so close, it wouldn't be a bad thing. I thought wrong. The day of our friendship also created the beginning of my temptation.
We started as friends. Although he flirted with me, at first I contradicted him, rejecting every word that didn't seem right. Our conversations went on for days... then weeks... then turning into months. The more we met, the more we found things to talk about. Eventually, I started to trust him and view him as my guy best friend. Friendship which became into feelings. I tried to stop myself before it was too late, but as I tried to ignore him, he noticed and asked me why I did it. Questions became weapons by which my answers would be deadly. All I could tell him was random excuses, or anything that popped into my head at the time. More time passed, and he started flirting with me again. This time, I mocked his actions.
Despite the fact that my boyfriend had done really wrong in the past, I don't like to take revenge myself. Although he did worse things, I felt immensely guilty for flirting back. I don't hold grudges against people, yet I understand when they hold them against me. I ask for forgiveness, even when I'm not to be blamed for.
