thriller bitch!

letters to you// 3

Dear Erik,

I was helplessly in love with you. Infatuated I was with the way you smiled. I think that was one of your best features. Probably your rich black hair can come in second. Your brown skin that looks like mine, that's third.

Your many laughs, because you said that one just isn't enough to express all your emotions. I loved your giggle, I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Your chuckle always made me nervous.

The way you'd work your fingers on a pretend guitar, I think that made me like you deeply more. The fact that you played guitar made me fall harder. The way your eyes lit up when I told you that I genuinely believed you could be a musician, those eyes made my year.

Your obsessions over the Beatles, Aerosmith, and Led Zeppelin, I love. I never understood the deeper meaning of that music, but now that I do, I regret teasing you for it. I promise I never meant to make you feel bad. I love the Beatles now, but some songs make me remember you. The most pretty ones remember me of you so much.

The way you'd play soccer. I think I loved soccer you, because you looked so free on the field. It's like you and the ball were one, even if everyone said you tripped over your own feet. You could trip every step of the way and I'd call you graceful. The way you'd smile at me when you'd make any effort really made my heart beat faster.

Your obsessions with vans, I think it was cute. You didn't like Nike or Jordan or Adidas, but vans. You weren't mainstream at all, you avoided that at all costs. You always looked like something straight out of the 80's, and I loved it.

The way you liked a challenge. How you always were secretly a daredevil even if you didn't seem like it. I remember how we were about to ditch for the first time and you were too scared to do it. I died of fond that day.

Your smartness, I loved that too. You were intelligent and made me feel so dumb next you. You knew the answers to everything and even though people said you had the personality of someone who didn't care about school, you proved them wrong.

I liked how adventurous you were. How you were never afraid to something weird. How you were up to walk in the rain with me because it was the first time we ever experienced such heavy downpours. We got really wet and cold, but the adrenaline in our system and short breaths made it worth it. When we tried kool aid without the sugar and when the red was dyed on the palm of our hands. It looked like blood and we always giggled about it.

I liked your humor towards me. Remember when I sat at your table once, and you imitated every move I did? I couldn't laugh without you laughing as well, I couldn't tuck my hair behind my ear in nervousness because you'd try to do the same, even without the long hair. How I couldn't look left or right because there you were, looking the same way as I did with a smug look on your face. I couldn't fold my hands on the table because you'd do the same. We always tried annoying each other, but we never really were bothered.

I remember I took your school ID and giggled at your picture because you looked like an angry kitten. You blushed and told me you'd hold my hand until I gave it back. I didn't give it back at all. And you still held my hand.

Remember when I wore that embarrassing white belt? I remember when we started our 'highlighter wars' where we'd paint each other in bright green, pink, yellow, and blue. I remember you chose green because I said I didn't like the color. I remember you held my wrists and colored my shirt all over when the teacher wasn't looking. I remember how we were 'wrestling' each other with highlighters coloring each other's necks, arms, cheeks, and white shirts. You caught me off guard once and teased me for my white belt. "I feel bad for that white belt," you teased with a smug look. My heart always fluttered when you touched me.