Raven Queen and Apple White (ever after high)

Learning

What surprised  me the most about Raven Queen was how quickly she became my friend.

It was almost comical how easy it was to befriend her. How it was like falling asleep, slowly and then all at once. In the beginning, I was determined to get close to Raven, so we could talk honestly about our futures, but not so close as to develop a bond. I had to remember, she was going to hurt me. She was going to murder me, or try to. We could never really become friends. Because it would all fall apart in the end.

And yet.... it was so hard to remind myself of that when I was around her. She started off polite and courteous to me, complete with friendly conversations and small study sessions. And I was very happy with that. We were friends, but nothing more, nothing deep and personal. Just roommates.

And then slowly, so slowly I didn't even see it till it was too late, she became my friend. The casual chats became long deep conversations that lasted all night. The study sessions became sleepovers where we would watch funny videos and fall asleep in the same bed. The small smiles became explosions of laughter. The casual pats became long hugs. Our relationship was different.

I learned so much about her. Too much. By the end of sophomore year, she was officially my friend. I knew what bands she listened to. I knew her two favorite people in the world were her father, who loved and supported her no matter what she did, and her pet dragon Nevermore, who was around when Raven's mother wasn't. I knew what she was afraid of, and what she loved. I  knew things she didn't tell me, like the face she made when she saw meat, (I would bet my entire kingdom she would become a vegetarian soon enough). I knew she got freckles when she was out too long in the sun, and I knew her eyelashes were purple. I knew who she was in a matter of months, and I hated it.

I hated it because I no longer saw her as a villain.

My friends worried for me, consistently bringing up my destiny and lack of animosity towards Raven. I had no answers for them, and all I could say was Raven would follow her destiny eventually. I just had to focus on school and becoming a good queen. Every time I would take a class on leadership, I was faced with the possibility that I would never lead. How could my kingdom accept me if I didn't fit their narrative? How could my mother pass on the throne, knowing I could barely complete the one life goal set for me?

A week before the end of sophomore year, my mother called me to our kingdom for a brunch. There was no doubt in my mind the topic of discussion. The rumor of Raven's rebellion against her fairytale was spreading. Some people feared it would become a movement. I had tried to talk to Raven about it, but every time I stared into her eyes, deep with sadness and a fierce determination, the words died in my throat. What could I say to her? She had never officially confirmed a rebellion against destiny, and an admission of this would destroy me. I couldn't ask.

I begrudgingly took a carriage into my kingdom on a Saturday morning, a headache already rising. The sight of my gorgeous kingdom seemed to calm the migraine slightly. It truly was amazing, with fields of grain and apple trees, and deeper into the kingdom, a bustling village filled with life. The sight of it made my heart ache. How could I live apart from my destiny, when it was the only thing that brought me joy?

Brunch with my mother began nicely, till the dreaded subject of Raven was broached. My mother could not understand how I had managed to let Raven be corrupted by good, and I had no real answers.

"I don't know mom. I've never met anyone less determined to hurt others." My mother sighed and put down her muffin.

"Darling, Snow Whites are kind and intelligent and pure. Evil Queens are cruel and vengeful and corrupted. Raven must be planning to hurt you. I cannot see how this is not a plot of some sort!" I gritted my teeth and slammed my hands on the table.

"I don't think I'm particularly stupid, mother. Raven... just isn't evil. She doesn't want to hurt me. I can't fix it. And-and so I can never be queen." At this my mother frowned and shook her head.

"You're kingdom must be earned child. Part of this is putting your story into action. As my only child, your failure will be my only disappointment." At this my eyes filled with tears. "Do not disappoint Apple."

I rode home in silence and collapsed onto my bed with tears streaming down my face. I put on pajamas and settled into my crying, hoping for some time alone. A short while later, I heard the door open and laughter sound out. I groaned internally and buried myself under my covers, hoping to escape conversation and ignore whoever it was. I could hear two people enter the room, and the voices sounded like Raven and Maddie. How inconvenient. I tried to stay silent and pretend I was sleeping.

"Apple?" It was Raven. She sounded happy, and I could just picture her face, light and open with her lips parted slightly. I stayed silent and feigned a nap. A second later, I couldn't disguise the sniff I let out, my nose runny from the crying. I heard Raven tell Maddie she was going to do some studying, and that she'd see her later. Crap. Raven knew something was up.

As soon as the door closed, I heard Raven softly padding over to my bed. She sat next to me, and put her hand on my shoulder. I turned around, huffing at my failed attempt at acting. Raven took in my puffy eyes, and wordlessly pulled me into her arms.

At this, I only cried harder. I sank onto her arms and buried my face into her shoulder. How could she still be comforting me, making me feel okay? She rubbed my shoulder and with her thumb and the motion made me shiver. We spend the day in bed, not talking about what happened, and watching a movie and eating snacks.

Night came, and I could feel myself falling asleep. Crying was exhausting, and the day had been a taxing one. I felt Raven sit up, and through half lidded eyes close the laptop. Suddenly, she reached down a pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. Despite my exhaustion, I felt my whole face go red and my stomach roll. What was that?

"Good night Apple." Raven said in a tender voice, filled with an emotion I couldn't decipher. "Feel better in the morning."

I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, dreaming of purple eyes and soft kisses and a beautiful kingdom.

These were times when I hated Raven, really hated her, but not for the right reasons. I don't even think it was hate, really. More like jealousy. Jealously and confusion. How could someone be so kind and true and supportive and beautiful, and how could i learn to hate her? How could keep her in my life, while trying to ruin her's with a terrible destiny? Thoughts like these plagued my mind and summer break brought anger and loneliness. She made me happy, but to ensure happiness in my future, I had to choose: Raven, or my whole life, my kingdom, my legacy and my crown. I wished for both.

But I couldn't have that.

I had a destiny.