Out of Line [Kristian Kostov]

~3~

~ Kris' POV ~

I lay in bed, still like a posed statue. For that moment I was calm, I hadn't set an alarm so I had no concept of time and yet I wasn't worried in the slightest about how much I had probably overslept. As I slowly opened my eyes the sharp rays of the morning sunlight stung my eyes. I had never even closed the curtains last night, my tired mind couldn't think of anything else to  do other than sleep, yet as the light filled the room it was somewhat comforting, a literally enlightening beginning to the day.

I gradually sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed, stretching my arms and pushing my messy hair away from my face. As I wandered into the bathroom I was confronted with the leftover of last night's events in the mirror. Staring back at me was a tired, worn version of myself; clearly overwhelmed by everything that's happened recently. That's when I remembered, the girl. Suddenly my mind was awakened to a snowy image of the bubbly, beautiful girl that was at my concert last night. All this time I've been silently complaining to myself about the urge to change, this is the change that I've been so desperately looking for. It all makes sense now, all I have to do is find her again - but how? But now's not the time to think about this, everyone is probably waiting for me downstairs.

Upon that thought I checked the time for the first time since waking up: 9:13. Surprisingly, it was much earlier than I imagined and as we agreed to meet for breakfast at 9:30 I was making good time. I made a weak attempt to freshen myself up in the bathroom before putting on a basic white t-shirt, some black jeans and my jacket - as the crisp breeze of London had taught me to dress. Before leaving I checked myself over once more in the mirror, I definitely looked more awake than I had only moments ago but with the discontent, of not seeing that girl, looming over me, something didn't feel right.

I locked the bedroom door, taking only my phone and key card with me. As expected, I met Ira, Misha, Dani, Maria and a few others outside the breakfast hall. I checked my watch: 9:43. Okay, I was a little late but considering the circumstances I'm pretty proud of myself.

"Hey guys, thanks for waiting!" I greeted them with yet another plastered smile. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine, Kris." Ira replied. "We're completely used to it by now." Everyone laughed at the remark as we headed in, my grumbling stomach indicating the need for some food.

Ira, Misha and I took our seats at a small table in the corner of the hall, separate to everyone else. The smell of the food filled the room and ignited my senses, fuelling my appetite. Together we headed up to the buffet to grab something to eat. Before us we were presented with an array of hot food, breads, pastries and more along a stretched table. It's amazing to appreciate even the smallest differences between different countries, and one of the those differences is food. In England they had food I'd never even tried before like crumpets and black pudding; although I'm not actually sure what it is.

I reached for a plate and I read the labels until I found the eggs. But upon reaching to open the casing, my reflection once again met me in the metal. I couldn't help but notice the grey shadows under my eyes, my entire face reflected how tired I was and-

"Kris! Snap out of it!" Ira called, giggling as she realised I'd been having a staring contest with a piece of metal.

We piled food on our plates and headed back towards our seats.

"What's on your mind?" Ira asked. She could tell something was up, that's what happens when you're friends with someone for so long; they know what you're thinking.

"Uh, nothing." I said, shaking my head. I almost convinced myself when I said this. My mind was cluttered with every little thought yet at the same time I felt empty, my mind blank.

"Kris, you're acting different, I know something is up."

"Okay, fine, can I ask you a weird question?"

"Sure, but when do you ever not ask me weird questions?" Her smile made me finally comfortable to admit to her how I had been feeling since last night. I knew I could talk to Ira about anything.

"Do you," I hesitated, trying to ensure I worded my question properly, "believe in... soulmates?" Where did that word even come from? It just seemed to fly out of my mouth, not even knowing the exact meaning.

"What do you mean?" She seemed startled by my question.

"I met a girl last night." It felt good to finally say it out loud, it wasn't just a fairy tale in my head anymore, everything that I thought happened really did happen.

"When? I was with you yesterday!"

"It was after you left actually. We just started talking, she was so sweet and-" Am I seriously about to admit this?

"And what?" She pushed for a response.

"And I think I really like her, but I don't know if she likes me back." The realisation made me feel sick to my stomach, she probably doesn't even think of me as anything more that 'a guy she talked to'.

"But you just met! How could you possibly know if you like her in that way?"

Her words cut me off. I really thought she would understand, she's my best friend after all. Maybe she just doesn't get it. I refused to answer her question, I don't think it deserved a legitimate response in the first place. Frustrated, I left the table before I had even touched my plate, the thought of food now sickened me.

"Kris, wait!" Ira called, but I didn't want to stay. For once I felt so alone even with my best friend.

Just as I was about the leave the room, I peered over my shoulder to a view of the table I was just seated at, but now Misha had come and had replaced the empty spot on the chair I was just on. It was obvious that the pair were talking about me, who knows what horrid accusations they were saying about me. Why does nobody understand?